Tag Archives: anxiety

Navigating Anxious Thoughts After the Hill Country Floods – What Families Need to Know

Our family has lived in the hill country for over 20-years.  We’ve seen summers without any rain.  Specifically, in 2011 the days were so hot and dry the city council of Austin issued a mandate for the city to pray for rain!  

You can imagine our surprise in 2025 when it rained so much that rivers flooded, dams broke, and we experienced some of the greatest pain in the Hill Country that we have experienced in decades.  

In those early morning hours, the Hill Country community was hit with devastating floods that disrupted homes, schools, and everyday life. In moments like these, families face not just the physical aftermath, but also the emotional ripple effects that follow, especially for our children. 

You can also imagine the anxious thoughts everyone is experiencing right now.  How does someone move forward after experiencing so much tragedy?  How does a family decide to send their child to a summer camp again after something so tragic?  How does a person not get these rushed feelings of panic every time it rains?  How do we not just stay busy to stay distracted?

I had the opportunity to sit down with my wife, a Licensed Professional Counselor, who serves students and their families in the Hill Country area, and she has had a front row experience with these questions and here are a few things she recommended:

Acknowledge the Impact

First and foremost, let people know they are seen. This has been a traumatic, overwhelming time for many. If your family is hurting, displaced, or unsure of what comes next, please know you are not alone, and your feeling is valid.

Emotional Reactions Are Normal

Children may not have the words to describe what they’re feeling, but they’re processing the loss and fear in their own way.  Unfortunately, most children in the Hill Country have been affected by these floods or know someone who was affected.  

Some children may act out, others may withdraw. Some may suddenly cling to you, have nightmares, or feel anxious about the weather. These responses are not signs of something “wrong.” They’re signs of something real.

As parents and caregivers, your calm presence and listening ear matter more than perfect answers. Simply acknowledging your child’s feelings, “That was really scary, wasn’t it?,”can help them feel safe and understood.

Rebuild Routine Where You Can

One of the best things you can do for your child in this season is to restore rhythm where possible. Whether it’s consistent mealtimes, bedtime routines, or walking them to school, familiar patterns offer emotional stability when the world feels uncertain.

When I was speaking to a family about one of their children possibly going to summer camp this year I validated those feelings.  Summer camp is a wonderful opportunity for children.  Then, I encouraged the parents to simply ask their children, “Do they want to go to summer camp?”  Different children are going to respond to this tragedy in different ways.  

Talk Honestly—but Gently

Kids don’t need every detail, but they do need honest reassurance. Let them know the adults around them are working hard to keep them safe. Use age-appropriate language to answer their questions and remind them that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared.

Watch for Ongoing Signs of Stress

In the weeks ahead, watch for ongoing signs of trauma: trouble sleeping, appetite changes, withdrawal from friends, or constant worrying. These may be signs your child needs more support—and that’s okay. There is help, and healing is possible.

Remember, life is loud, and when life is really loud, sometimes we can forget some of the true promises that we have held onto for so long.  Stress makes us forget and question, we aren’t thinking clearly in times of stress.  We can forget God’s truth.  We can forget God’s character.  We can forget God’s promises.  We can start to lose sight of who we are also!  

And sometimes, when we go through all that forgetting we can latch on to stories and ideas that aren’t true.  Things like:

  • “You need to figure this out!”
  • “God doesn’t care.”
  • “Everyone else has it easy.”
  • “People are going to think we are weak or stupid.”

It’s in our moments of stress and anxiety that we need to identify practical ways to help us remember the truth!  Things like:

  • Memorizing Scripture.
  • Writing out our prayers and asking, “Are our prayers consistent with God’s Word?”
  • Sharing our thoughts with others, and inviting them to tell us when our words aren’t consistent with God’s Word.
  • Listening to worship music filled with the truth of God’s Word.

You’re Not Alone—Resources Are Available

If your family needs help with housing, food, school supplies, or emotional care, please don’t hesitate to seek our support from your school or local church.  

And if you, as a parent, are feeling overwhelmed, please know your mental health matters too. You don’t have to be strong alone.  It’s in these moments that our thoughts and emotions can be fueled by lies.  Lies about ourselves.  Lies about God.  Lies about our future.  Sometimes we will even recognize those lies, and still our mind can become hijacked by those thoughts that just aren’t true.    

If your group, school, church, or organization would benefit from a conversation about helping kids process trauma, rebuild resilience, or simply navigate hard times as a family, Holly would be honored to speak to them. Whether it’s a small group of parents or a community-wide event, she’s available to share tools, stories, and hope.  Reach out to me and I will get you in touch with her!  

Essential Parenting Truths for Today’s Struggling Families

My wife and I have worked in pastoral ministry for over 20-years.  My wife has worked in personal counseling as a Licensed Professional Counselor for 10 of those years.  A common theme in parenting we have noticed is that the pressure of parenting is at an all time high.

All the studies today on children show that children are feeling more pressure to succeed, they carry more anxiety, they struggle to know how to respond to challenges in life and the overwhelming answer for our children from parenting resources today seems to be on the parents doing more to help their children navigate these challenges.

Parents are already being asked to do the normal expectations of parents: provide a roof over their head, consistent income, clothes to wear, and food to eat.  And now the parent is being challenged to make sure their children are in the extra-curricular activities from the age of 5 if they want to be on the “team” in high school, provide tutoring for academics, expose their children to healthy eating options, ask probing and insightful questions to help children process emotions, launch a technical division in their home to be on guard against online predators, teach their children how to process their anxiety, so that children can launch into the world as well-rounded human beings.  It’s impossible!

Oh yeah, those parents are also trying to launch a successful career, build a healthy marriage, take care of their physical health, and be responsible for all the hiccups in life like flat tires, a leaking roof, and paying bills.  It’s a lot!

During the pandemic my wife and I wanted to do something productive with our time, so we went through foster-training so that we could foster a child.  Our biological children were in their teens, needing less of our time, so we took this as a growth opportunity for our family.  

Our intent was never to adopt the child but play a small part in reunification for the family.  When the social workers talked about the base level factors for reunification they said, “We are looking for 3 things in every home; roof, access to food and water, and a place to sleep.”  My wife and I thought to ourselves, “We are trying way too hard as parents!”

Don’t get me wrong.  I know roof, food, and bed are base level expectations for parenting but in my experience children are incredibly resilient.  And the best parenting experience isn’t going to be able to create a childhood for our children that enables them to avoid every traumatic experience in life.  Did you catch that? 

The best parenting on the best day isn’t going to be able to avoid every difficult challenge for our children, therefore, it seems like we could put less pressure on parents and instead encourage parents with some basic principles.  Here are a few that we have applied to our family. (If the average parent is trying to improve their parenting through books, podcasts, blogs, and personal reflection they are a great parent!)  

  1. Dad and mom put their hope in the Lord.  It’s easy to get excited when our children start to read.  We think to ourselves, “Our child might be the smartest child to ever walk the earth.”  Then our children display some quality of athleticism, attraction and the excitement for our children grows and grows but one thing is sure for all parents: our children will encounter hardship in life.  It might be emotional hardship, physical hardship or mental hardship.  It might come early, or it might start to show signs during their early twenties.  When a parent puts their hope in their children then that parent is putting their hope in shifting sand that no child is going to be able to sustain.  Rejoice in your children!  But, let us all put our hope in the Lord because it won’t be long until the limitations of our children will be exposed in their humanity and in that moment we will be looking for / needing something more secure than our children.
  2. Dad and mom are committed to one another in marriage. This isn’t a magical guarantee, but if the average child gets to see a male and female experience in the home, they are gaining an incredible opportunity that will serve them the rest of their life.  Can single-parents do a great job of raising children?  For sure!  But if you are married, or plan to get married, the best gift you can give to your child is a dad and mom committed to one another in marriage. Here’s a great resource to help strengthen your marriage!
  3. Dad and mom are committed to furthering the family.  Again, it isn’t a magical guarantee, but if the average child gets to see mom and dad working to sustain, persevere, improve, and strengthen their family unit, then they are gaining an incredible opportunity that will serve them the rest of their life.  The fact that you have read this much of this article is evidence that you are committed to furthering your family!  Rejoice!
  4. Dad and mom are in a growing relationship with God through faith in Jesus.  The concept of a person committing their life to Jesus implies this person has humbled themselves to admit they don’t have all the answers in life.  This trait alone can do more for that child than any other belief system because the parent isn’t modeling an example of someone who has it all figured out but instead the parent is modeling an example of someone who admits they need help from Jesus. That’s the gospel!
  5. Dad and mom have a grounded belief that God is sovereign in all things. I bet you are thinking, “I thought this was about parenting?”  It is!  When dad and mom are centered on some foundational areas of life, you can miss a lot of other areas of life but this one is a big one, because life is going to happen.  Jobs are going to be lost.  People are going to get sick.  Problems are going to come up.  But, when dad and mom are convinced that God is sovereign over all areas of life, even the painful parts of life, it is going to dramatically shape how dad and mom respond to those hard times and approach parenting. Here’s a great resource to help us trust the Lord in those hard seasons.  
  6. Dad and mom have a clear vision, purpose and goals for their family.  Every business has stated vision and goals for why they exist as a company.  Every family is a little company and the more parents can articulate why decisions are being made in the family the better it will be for their children to know the meaning behind the decisions that are being made as a family.  Here’s a great resource to help with personal planning.
  7. Dad and mom keep the main things the main things with parenting.  This list is the main thing.  Everything else is peripheral.  Pick a school for them to attend.  Encourage them in their hobbies and interests.  Make sure they have a roof over their head, some clothes to wear, access to food and everything else is a flip of the coin.  I can’t stress this enough.  The best attempt at parenting can still create huge deficits in parenting.  The parent who wants to make sure their child is encouraged in all areas of life might have a child that feels like their parents smothered them.  The parent who is involved in the life of their children might have a child that felt restricted.  The parent who is generous with their child might have a child that takes advantage of their generosity.  The parent who is “hands-off” in discipline might have a child that needs “hands-on.”  None of our children come with instructions and none of them are able to tell us what they need to help them become a fully functioning adult.  It doesn’t mean all the accessories don’t matter.  It just means there are too many moving parts to put too much weight into any accessory we bring into their life.  Here’s a simple guide but it’s just a guide:
    • 0-2:  CARE (We are letting them know they are loved and cared for in life.)  
    • 3-5:  CONSTRUCT (We want to provide a structure for children to thrive.)
    • 6-11:  COUNSEL (Help draw out their thoughts, emotions, and experiences.)
    • 12-18:  CONTEND (Fight for them to apply what you have learned as you prepare them to launch.) 
  8. Dad and mom trust that their children are His children, their story is His story.  Every parent is building a story for their children from the moment they are conceived.  Dad and mom are imagining graduations, parties, friends, events, weddings, romance, bike rides, vacations and some dads and moms are aware of those longings and some dads and moms aren’t aware but it is a guarantee that 100% of those longings won’t be realized.  Some of that reality will happen early in life and some of that reality might happen slowly throughout the life of the child, but at the end of the day every parent has to let go of “their story” for their children and trust in God’s story for their children.  It’s great to pray, plan and prepare but the parent must hold all those plans with an open hand and trust that the Lord will write a story that is better than what we had planned.
  9. Dad and mom are thankful for every second dad and mom get with their children. Some people never get to experience parenthood.  Parenthood isn’t a promise for every person.  Some parents only get to experience parenthood for seconds.  And some parents will get 60+ years of parenthood but the best response any parent can have is gratitude for every second.  
  10. Dad and mom must layer themselves in humility.  Dad and mom are invited to faithfully build into their children but let us not think too highly of ourselves.  Our children are not 50% dad and 50% mom.  Our children are a collection of 400 different people in their genetic system with influences that are greater than our parenting skills.  Throughout the history of Israel we see Israel received instruction from the Lord, miracles, intimacy, etc. and yet Israel turned from the Lord over and over, therefore, how much more should we not be surprised if our children will turn from our parenting at some point in life or on some level.  In Judges 5 we see a practical example of some tribes of Israel who respond to God’s invitation to spiritually wake up and follow Him, and there are some tribes of Israel who stay spiritually asleep and ignore Him, therefore, how much more are we as parents to assume the same could happen with our children. 

Bonus: What happens when our children turn from the Lord?  When a child shows a lack of interest in the Lord the parent’s natural assumption is, “What did we do wrong?”  Biblically we know it is the Lord who draws hearts.  It is the Lord who opens eyes.  It is the Lord who calls us to faith in Jesus but because a parent loves their child so much they will think to themselves, “If I would have / haven’t (fill in the blank) then maybe the child would have more interest in the Lord?”  Maybe there are things for us to learn about our parenting choices? But we can’t dwell in this area too deeply or too frequently.  Could a parent have done more?  Sure!  But ultimately it is the Lord who has to write that story of His grace in their life and as a parent, like our children, we are invited to put our trust in Him.