Leadership: Law of Influence

Maxwell’s definition for the ​Law of Influence​ is that “​the true measure of leadership is influence nothing more, nothing less.”​  Ask yourself, “Who are you influencing?”  It starts with self, spouse, children, extended family, co-workers, neighbors, family, etc.  And what are we influencing people toward?

Leadership is often misunderstood. Here are the top 5 myths people tend to believe:

  1. The Management Myth – Leading and managing is NOT the same! Management focuses on maintaining systems and processes. Leadership is about moving people in the right direction.
  2. The Entrepreneur Myth – Not all entrepreneurs are good with people. If you can’t influence people, you can’t lead.
  3. The Knowledge Myth – Just visit any university and you will find people with a high IQ or countless titles, but with an extremely low leadership level. Leadership has nothing to do with education or IQ.
  4. The Pioneer Myth – Some believe that anyone who is out in front of the crowd is a leader. But being first isn’t always the same as leading. To be a leader, you must not just be at the front, but also have people intentionally coming behind you, following your lead and acting on your vision.
  5. The Position Myth – As Stanley Huffty said, ‘It’s not the position that makes the leader; it’s the leader that makes the position.’ You don’t need a position to lead. And even if somebody takes away your position, they can’t take away your influence over the lives of those who follow you.

​When it comes to identifying a real leader… don’t listen to the claims of the person professing to be the leader. Don’t examine his or her credentials. Don’t check their title. Check their influence. The proof of leadership is found in the followers.”​ He ends the chapter with a famous leadership proverb, “​He who thinks he leads, but has no followers, is only taking a walk.”​

There are 7 major areas you must look into to evaluate your leadership influence:

  1. Don’t Wait for Titles:  You don’t need to be in charge to influence.  Imagine the person who shows up to work with a bad attitude.  Are they influencing?  Of course!  Imagine the neighbor who goes above and beyond, not because they are on the Neighborhood Watch, but because they care about their neighborhood.  Everyone loves living next to those types of neighbors.  
  2. Character: If you want to increase your leadership level, you MUST focus on character. The more consistency we have between our private life and our public life, the greater potential for influence.  
  3. Take Inventory:  The more clarity we have in our spheres of influence the more likely we are to take advantage of those influencing opportunities.
  4. Knowledge: Information is vital to a leader. Even though knowledge won’t make you a leader (see The Knowledge Myth above), it’s necessary if you want to become a great leader. Do your homework, spend time to get to know your industry, your environment, your team, your clients, as you try to lead.
  5. Experience:  When opportunities arise, say, “Yes!”  Just like knowledge, experience isn’t everything but experience doesn’t hurt.  The more time you have in the battle the stronger you will get in your influence.
  6. Competency:  Just like knowledge and experience, competency doesn’t determine influence but executing on objectives is going to only strengthen your potential for influence.

In the end, our greatest source of influence is through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Through faith in Jesus we are reconciled to God and empowered through the Spirit to bring incredible influence into the lives of others.  

Sometimes we don’t even have to say a word!  Sometimes just our mere presence will bring influence toward others and it isn’t because of our knowledge, experience or character but because the grace of God moves in us and through us for His glory!  

Parenting Teens with Social Media

How about those Amish?  Am I right?  There is no argument that social media influences people, therefore, how do parents and children interact with social media from a godly perspective?  It would be easy to fall on the extremes; social media will never enter my house or be completely consumed with social media but I think God’s Word provides an answer that is a little more complicated.  

The pattern throughout God’s Word is to be sent out for His glory (Matthew 28.)  I understand the desire to want to buy a piece of land in the middle of nowhere and create a commune of people who will keep our children safe but we know that isn’t true or realistic for most people.  

Therefore, as followers of Jesus we have to wrestle with practical decisions of how we engage the culture of our day just like Jesus did in His day.  Jesus was born into a point in history, lived under the rule of a government, interacted with the culture of the day, identified Himself with an ethnicity and yet Jesus came to establish His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, so what does that look like for us today as we raise children and interact with social media:

  1. What does social media look like in your life personally as a parent?  How much time are you on social media?  What influence does social media have on you?  The more we can understand the draw and allure of social media in our own life the easier it will be to guide our children.  
  2. We never wanted to give our children the impression that we were scared of social media.  Social media isn’t greater than the glory of God.  Social media isn’t the forbidden fruit that our children can never see.  Social media is just a device but we want to have a plan for social media.  
  3. See this as discipleship.  As parents, we get to disciple our children.  We get to teach them about the world.  We get to show them our love for Jesus and His Word is greater than anything we will ever find on social media.  Is it hard?  Yeah, it’s really hard but we can either equip our children to engage technology or they will leave our house one day and the world will disciple them in technology.  
  4. Create a vision for your child’s life.  Start at 18 when they launch out of the home and write down what you want them to know, capable, understand, accomplish, and then reverse engineer what you need to teach them before they launch out of your home.  We re-evaluated this goal every year and it shaped how we approached their teen years.  When our children reached 16-18 we were able to clearly identify, “Do these things, be responsible in these areas, you get more freedom with social media and technology.”
  5. Give them homework to learn about social media.  They will roll their eyes but we teach our children how to do laundry, how to drive cars, how to brush their teeth; why wouldn’t we teach our children about social media.  See resources at the end.  
  6. Delay social media as long as possible.  If your child is asking for social media at 10 push it to 12.  If they start asking at 13 push it to 16.  It doesn’t matter what age they start, push it out as long as possible.  Our goal was for our children to not get social media until they were 16.  
  7. Delay with crumbs.  Our children started asking around 10 and we said, “Yeah, maybe one day?”  The next time they asked we said, “Yeah, we should talk about that.”  The next time they ask, “Yeah, we need to do that.”  It’s not passive.  It was our plan to push them off as long as possible and then we started with baby steps.  Our 14-year old daughter started with a flip phone in 2017.  Yeah, she hated it.  But we said, “Let’s see if you can keep up with a flip phone and in time we can upgrade.”  Then we upgraded to an iPhone Touch.  She didn’t like that either but at least it looked like a phone.  Our son started off with an iPhone, yeah his sister was bitter, but in the beginning he could only make calls, then he could text, then he could use the web but with screen time.  His freshmen of high school year he got Instagram and his sophomore year we removed screen time.  Their senior year of high school we remove all oversight and want them to experience complete autonomy before we launch them into the world.  
  8. Monitor usage.  Our understanding from the very beginning was that everything online was public, so we can look at your phone at any moment, which means they are responsible for the decisions they make with the phone.  You can look at the search history, their timeline will show you what they like to watch, their trash to see what they deleted  are just a few ways to monitor their phones.  When you see something that is concerning, use it as an opportunity to draw them out and ask questions.  Remember, we aren’t prohibiting social media, we are training our children how to live in a world that is full of darkness and temptation.  (Also, our children, still today, have access to our phones.)
  9. Create boundaries with social media in the home.  When our children were younger they couldn’t take their phones into their room.  We wouldn’t let them bring it in the car.  We wouldn’t let them bring it to the table.  As they get older, as they display responsibility, we allow them additional freedoms but they still can’t bring it to the table for a meal and we ask them to stay off their phones when they are in the car.  Again, we give this same challenge to ourselves, and it’s hard.  
  10. Have a plan for consequences.  No matter what plan you come up with there is going to be failure, therefore, taking the phone can’t be the consequence every time.  Get creative.  It can be running laps, doing chores, paying money, creating a do-over; but they need to see you are trying to help them learn hard lessons in life and either mom and dad can provide a little consequence or the world is going to bring a much more painful consequence.  
  11. Watch how your children interact with social media.  Watch their attitude when you ask them to get offline.  Watch what they look at online.  Observe their attitude before and after and use those observations to have conversations with your children to help them see how social media is influencing them.  At first they will say, “Social media doesn’t influence me.”  But hopefully, before they launch out of our homes, they see social media’s influence.
  12. Social media isn’t inventing new sins.  Our hearts are wicked.  Sin is crouching at our door to destroy us, therefore, as parents we want to teach our children how to be on guard against sin, how to see the brokenness of our souls and how to find forgiveness and strength in Jesus.  
  13. Encourage your teenagers as much as you can.  You’re an adult.  You see 100 things they miss, therefore, it’s really easy to focus on those 95 things they miss and overlook the 5 things they are doing really well.  If they don’t believe that you are for them and are trying to help them, they really aren’t going to care what you have to say about social media.  
  14. Life isn’t just about having fun.  This is a harder lesson to teach then you might imagine.  We spend the first ten years of parenting telling and modeling to our children that their safety and security is our primary focus.  Then, we spend the next 10 years helping them to see we won’t always be there to take care of them.  It’s a difficult transition.  Therefore, helping our teens to see there are responsibilities in life we need to take care of first and then we can have a little fun is a long process but we have to take care of the responsibilities first.  

Lastly, if you are reading this article and you feel like it’s too late for your child!  Don’t worry.  It’s never too late to have this conversation with your children.  Perhaps there are some habits and patterns that can be coarse corrected?  Perhaps there are some conversations that need to take place?  

But it’s never too late to grow in our faith in Jesus.  It’s never too late to turn from darkness and turn toward the light made available in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.  It’s never too late to have a conversation with our children, so take heart, the Lord is working.  Turn to Jesus and ask for His help!  

Resources:

  • Holy Spirit.  Plead for wisdom.
  • American Girls Social Media and the Lives of Teenagers.
  • Feeding the Mouth that Bites You by Kenneth Wilgus (History of teenagers in chapter 2 is helpful.)
  • A Parent’s Guide to Understanding Social Media by Mark Oestereicher (Chapters 4-5 are good for parents and teens to read together. Chapter 6 is good for parents.)
  • Screen Smart Parenting (Chapter 15 on ADHD, anxiety and how social media influences us. Chapter 16 on agreements with social media and specific ages.)
  • Your Identity in a Selfie World by Kristen Hatton:  A short book that provides great gospel conversations over areas like comparison, body image, eating disorders, materialism, etc.  (Great to read through and discuss with your teenager.) 
  • How Children Succeed by Paul Tough
  • CBS:  Why Can’t We Put Down Our Smartphones

Practical Steps with Grief

Over the last few years I have received a lesson in grief that I wasn’t looking to learn.  My mother passed away in 2021.  My brother passed away in 2022, and just recently my father-in-law passed away suddenly.  

When my mother and brother passed away so close to one another I reached out to a class called Grief Share.  Grief Share is located in most cities and a great resource to help people learn about grief and acknowledge grief practically.  

There are 7 primary lessons I learned through Grief Share:

  1. I learned about grief. Grief is the emotional reaction of sorrow.  Sometimes grief can be brought on by loss of a loved one, physical or emotional pain or a type of suffering we might experience in life.  It’s possible in our culture in the United States we are so uncomfortable with grief that we might only think of grief in the “most horrible” situations.  But it would be better to see grief on a spectrum. There are different levels of grief.  There are different levels of intensity as we go through seasons of grief. 
  2. Death isn’t a normal part of life. People will say things like this when you experience loss.  However, the Bible teaches us that God created us to experience eternal life.  Death in fact, is the result of our sin, therefore, grieving, sorrow, sadness and mourning are all appropriate ways to respond to death. 
  3. God grieves. Again, God created the world to be perfect, therefore, any death we see in the world is grieving to the Lord.  So much so He took on flesh to take the ultimate death upon Himself, so that we don’t have to grieve for eternity. 
  4. We can grieve intentionally or accidentally.  Grief is going to come out of our soul at some point.  We can ignore, suppress, avoid, escape but at some point grief will come to the surface, therefore, don’t shy away from grief.  Even scheduling moments in your day or week to acknowledge the pain of death and the hope we have in Jesus can be helpful. 
  5. Don’t try to go through grief alone. You don’t have to open your heart and mind to everyone but it is good to have a few trusted friends who will weep with you in grief.  We need godly friends who will acknowledge our pain and remind us of the hope we have in Jesus. 
  6. You can get trapped in grief. Grief is alluring.  There is something attractive about giving ourselves over to sadness, therefore, we want to always invite Jesus into our grief.  Jesus cares about our grief.  Jesus is familiar with grief and sorrow. Jesus has overcome grief, therefore, we want to grieve with Jesus. 
  7. Learn from your loss. Going through the loss of a friend or family member is difficult, but there are valuable lessons.  Have you prepared necessary legal documents? The investment in a notarized will is essential.  Have you communicated to your spouse about financial details?  Have you had important conversations?  Every day matters.  Going through grief can help us appreciate every day and make the most of those opportunities.  

Most of all, I have found rekindling our relationship with the Lord in the midst of grief can be the most difficult.  When we experience emotional pain or loss it often touches us in the deepest part of our soul, which is many times set apart only for the Lord.  

Before grief there is this deep part of our soul where only the Lord had ventured but in grief there is a pain that breaks into our soul, so that we might find it difficult to distinguish between grief and the Lord.

It’s okay.  We don’t have to rush back to that place but we do want to build a process of restoring those parts of our faith.  It may take time, but if we take intentional steps, we can definitely get there.  

Conversations Around Homelessness

I have lived in Austin, TX since 2006 and I have noticed, as I am sure many have, homeless people are more visible in my daily routine.  A few years ago I heard that Austin allowed people to panhandle at the corner, so it was more desirable for people in Dallas or Houston to make their way to Austin, because there would be more opportunities for people to get help.

Throughout the history of the United States we have had seasons where homelessness was more common.  During the Revolutionary War, it was itinerant workers, the “wandering poor” of an agricultural society reliant on worker mobility. 

Before the Civil War, it was unemployed mill workers, dockworkers, and miners, displaced by business cycles or changes in society caused by the introduction of a rail line or telegraph station.

After the Civil War, when a credit-fueled railroad boom went bust, breaking banks and killing jobs.  Almost always, it was temporary. As soon as the economy recovered, homeless people recovered, too. They went back inside and resumed normal lives. In the meantime, there was a safety net.

Today there are over 500,000 homeless people in the United States, and the trend seems to be more than an economic struggle.  Here are the top 3 reasons why people will encounter homelessness:  1.  Mental health.  2.  Lack of job opportunity.  3.  Lack of affordable living.

The challenge of mental health is interesting because our mental health facilities in the United States have experienced considerable transition.  In the 1800’s we had state hospitals that are funded by state resources.  However, in 1946 Life Magazine publishes photos depicting the horrors inside the hospitals and as a result those facilities began to close down.  

Most of the momentum took place under the Community Mental Health Act in 1963 as John F Kennedy set out to improve the resources that were being made available but unfortunately those improvements never came.  Instead facilities kept closing and nothing came in their place.    

Today the need for mental health is higher than it has ever been, and instead of a centralized effort to serve these people we see a patched work effort by multiple groups that are doing the best they can to make a difference.  

But what does this mean for us as followers of Jesus?  

A quick glance of the Bible and we see a variety of stories around homelessness.  Abraham left his home.  Moses fled his home.  Israel wandered in the wilderness.  Ruth moved after her husband died.  David hid in caves.  Jesus and his family fled persecution.  The Apostle Paul essentially went from city to city proclaiming the name of Jesus. 

Even through the lens of the gospel, this home isn’t our home but we are citizens of heaven.  God’s call on our lives as followers of Jesus is to never get too comfortable with our homes here on earth but instead we are called to give up our earthly treasure, pleasure and leisure for His glory.      

The reason the Bible talks so much about homelessness is because homelessness is NOT the way it’s supposed to be. Homelessness is a picture of what happens when we turn from God and do what is right in our own eyes.  As a result we are on our own, left to defend for ourselves but the good news of Jesus is that He doesn’t leave us that way.  

The hope of Jesus is that He provides a way for us to come home by grace through faith in Jesus.  We not only get to come home but we get to invite others into His home with us!  We get to extend our love, time, wealth, and comfort toward others because we who are in Christ know what it is like to be homeless and return home.    

What does that look like in our lives today?  It’s likely different for everyone.  It might be giving a carebag to someone at the corner.  It might be inviting a stranger to a worship service.  It might be praying for someone.  It might be buying a meal for someone.  It might be giving someone financial help.  It might be pointing someone to resources and support in our city.  

Are we going to see overnight transformation in those moments?  Maybe not but Jesus’ life, death and resurrection turned our eviction from heaven upside down. Let’s point ourselves and others toward that same hope.

John 14:2-3, “My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

How Do You Build a Successful Life?

How many times have you been driving down a bumpy road and thought your car was about to fall apart?  Sometimes the car hits one of those bumps and you feel the frame of the car slam into the wheels and you are convinced your car is about to fall apart!  In those moments you need good shocks that can absorb the bumps of the road.

In the same way, life can be like those bumpy roads.  It can be a call from a doctor, an argument with your spouse, a meeting with your supervisor, a late night of waiting for that teenager to send in an update about where they are; life can get really bumpy.

How are we supposed to enjoy life if there are so many bumps in the road?  Are we supposed to move out into the middle of nowhere?  Wait!  There’s tons of bumps in the road in the middle of nowhere 🙂

Sometimes a person can become so fatigued by the challenges of life they try to reduce the amount of possibilities. We cut off friends.  We break off relationships.  We build a fortress of solitude around ourselves and still challenges in life will break in and create some bumps.  What do we do?

The universities don’t teach how to absorb those challenges.  Our careers might give us some coping skills but even our careers won’t help us when it feels like the world is being pulled out from under our feet.  Copy and paste these somewhere to help you remember:

1. Do you believe God Is Sovereign?  The word “Sovereign” means “Control.”  Do you believe God is in control of all things? Do you believe God is with you always?  What was Joseph believing when he was being betrayed by His brothers?  What did Jacob believe when he was working for a wicked uncle?  What was David believing when he was hiding in a cave after being anointed to be king?  What did Paul cling to when he was in prison, shipwrecked, beaten, bitten by snakes and left to die?  What did Jesus hold on to when the Father’s will was for Him to be spit upon, beaten and put on a cross?  It is the follower of Jesus who goes through the ups and downs of life but you keep trusting your Heavenly Father because He is in control. (Romans 8)

2. Is your ultimate hope growing in God’s glory? The Apostle Paul wrote, “The sufferings of this world are not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to be revealed.”  James teaches us to consider the sufferings of our day to be joy in light of God’s glory.  Do you glory in His glory?  Do you believe if the Lord only brought you hardship and pain in this life, He is still worthy to be praised?  Do you believe the words of Habakkuk, “Thou there be not fruit on the vine, nor food in the stall, I will exalt you!”  Do you believe what this world has to offer is not the best this life has to offer?  When you turn your trust to His glory it will carry through any pain this world has to offer.

3. Are you celebrating God’s goodness in your life today?  Right now!  You woke up this morning.  You just took a breath.  You have people in your life.  You have talents and gifts.  You have challenges to persevere!  And most of all, through faith in Jesus, He calls you His for eternity!  You might not make it to tomorrow.  You might not make it home today!  Therefore, rejoice in the Lord today!  Write down His blessings in your life.  Recount them every day.  Tell Him of all His goodness.  Hug the people around you.  Write a note of encouragement.  Send that text.  Laugh with those people.  Enjoy the work of your hands.  Why worry about tomorrow?  Instead, enjoy more today!

4. Are you putting yourself in a place to be captivated by His presence?  The glory of the Lord is around you at all times.  He hears our prayers.  He intercedes on our behalf.  He speaks encouragement into our soul.  He is our helper.  He is our comforter.  In every storm of life, He is there, He is working and He is good.

Wind and waves come in life but there is only one who rebukes the wind and the waves. He was there with Moses.  He was there with Joseph.  He was with David.  He was next to Esther in those moments when she uttered those timeless words, “For such a time as this.”  But you need shocks to make it in this life.

What About Masturbation?

I am not necessarily looking to talk about a subject that is uncomfortable for everyone but an older man once said to me, “In the absence of saying nothing, people fill in their own answers.”

There was a season of life where I thought, “We don’t need to talk about this subject in mass communication do we?”  Sure, we can talk about it at a Men’s Group here and there but not to the congregation at large, right?  But in the absence of saying nothing, people fill in their own answers and that truth is more applicable today than ever.  

First, let’s make sure we are all on the same page.  Masturbation is the experience of sexual orgasm produced by self-stimulation. Virtually every man and woman has tried it in some capacity.  

Second, this is a blog that we try to keep concise.  Please don’t look at this article as the beginning and end of the conversation.  Please search the Scriptures, wrestle with this subject and seek godly counsel in the process.  

Third, the Bible doesn’t mention masturbation or self-gratification specifically.  There are passages that some will reference like Genesis 38 and “spilling of the seed.”  However, the sin of Onan is because he refuses to provide an heir for his deceased brother, not masturbation.  

Another passage is Matthew 5 when Jesus speaks of cutting off your right hand if it causes you to sin.  While there is a connection between lustful thoughts and masturbation, it isn’t likely Jesus had masturbation in mind specifically, therefore, there isn’t necessarily a specific verse for us to reference.  

Fourth, we do know God created sex to be good.  In Genesis 1-2 we see Adam and Eve were naked, unashamed and called by God to be fruitful and multiply to His glory.  Our sexual desires were created to be good and glorifying to God.

However, in Genesis 3 our sin completely distorts what God created to be good but Jesus has come to reconcile us to God through faith and restore a biblical view of sex, which is designed by God to take place within the commitment of marriage between a man and a woman.  

Therefore, how do we live in that restoration today?  How do we experience healing in this area of our life?  What does that healing look like practically?  Here are some thoughts to consider:

  1. What do we do with all those sexual desires?  Sometimes we just think God created our arms, legs, head, torso and our genitals appeared there by accident.  But God created our body parts to do what they do and feel what they feel, therefore, we must be asking, “How do we steward these sexual desires for His glory?”  
  2. What about pornography?  The biggest challenge with masturbation is it is often associated with pornography.  Any time we are dabbling in any type of sexual immorality we are wondering outside of God’s design of sex.  10-years ago people outside of Christ would have gloried in pornography but today, even people outside of Christ recognize the dangers of pornography.  
  3. Will the desire for masturbation go away when we are married?  Although marriage is a gift, the gift of marriage won’t remove the temptation of masturbation because our sexual desires are ultimately desires for intimacy at the deepest part of our soul.  Therefore, when our thoughts are wandering toward masturbation it might be because we are lonely, stressed, overwhelmed and masturbation might seem like a quick way to gratify those needs but ultimately, in those moments, our soul is longing for intimacy with our Creator and it would be better to see these desires as reminders that our soul is longing for something more.   
  4. If I am married, should I talk to my spouse about these desires?  1 Corinthians 7 teaches us that a wife doesn’t have the right over her body but her husband and her husband doesn’t have the right over his body but his wife, therefore, in marriage, masturbation is a conversation that would be great to take place between husband and wife and not something we want to keep in secret.
  5. Isn’t this just a personal decision?  Sometimes we might tell ourselves, “Well, I will just meet this sexual desire quickly, so I don’t get entangled in other desires.”  Giving ourselves over to one fleshly desire  isn’t the way to overcome other fleshly desires.  Perhaps it would be better to confess those desires to Jesus and ask for His help?  Perhaps Jesus can meet us in those desires in ways we could never imagine?
  6. What if pornography and lust isn’t involved?  It’s possible.  But I am not sure God’s Word gives us a wide open door here.  In that process we are still training our flesh.  We are training our bodies to experience immediate gratification.  There are chemicals being released in those moments and those chemicals create attachment, therefore, we want to be mindful that we aren’t simply giving ourselves over to our desires.  
  7. Is masturbation disgusting?  It’s possible you have heard this subject discussed in a tone of the “worst thing possible.”  Any desire to overcome the desires of the flesh should be seen equally.  Our hope is that Jesus has come to cleanse us of our sin, we are indwelled by the Holy Spirit and empowered by the Spirit to live godly lives in Him.  
  8. What if masturbation is a pattern in my life that is out of control?  The first step is to invite Jesus into this conversation through confession, repentance and forgiveness.  In addition, it would be good to invite a friend or two into this conversation as well.  1 John teaches us to bring our offenses into the light so that we might find healing.  Start there!  
  9. What about past memories that keep popping into our minds?  Jesus has come to make us new.  We aren’t made clean in Christ because we are physically or sexually pure.  We are made clean through faith in Jesus.  We are given new eyes, new minds, new thoughts.  Ask Jesus to renew your mind in this area of life and remove those memories.  
  10. Are there any resources to consider?  There are some great resources to consider.  It’s possible you might feel overwhelmed and need immediate support.  Please reach out to someone for help or contact one of these organizations.  (1.) https://puredesire.org/ (2.) https://samsonsociety.com/ (3.) https://www.bebroken.org/

If you feel out of control in this area, you’re not alone.  We live in a sexualized culture that can seek out any thought with a touch of a button.  Our hope isn’t to physically overcome these desires on our own.  Our hope is to find the greatest intimacy we could ever imagine in Christ.  

Therefore, rejoice, the Spirit is already at work as you consider these things.  Next, invite Jesus into this conversation.  And then consider reaching out to a friend for encouragement as you explore, “What’s shaping your thoughts?  What’s feeding your desires? How might you respond to these challenges in life in a different way?”

Are you becoming a dangerous leader or a biblically dangerous leader?

There are some leaders who want all the attention, overlook the needs of others, not really interested in the glory of God but love the idea of titles, making decisions and everyone respecting them.  It’s the difference between a dangerous leader and a biblically dangerous leader for God’s glory!

Malachi 1:6, “‘A son honors his father, and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?’ says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name. But you say, ‘How have we despised Your name?’”

In the book of Malachi the people of Malachi’s day are living through a difficult season.  Their morale is low, their souls are depleted, they have lost optimism in the Lord, and their worship in the Lord is waning so much that He brings rebuke in chapter 1 to their spiritual leaders.

Up to this point the people of Israel have grown up hearing great things about the Lord through leaders like Abraham, Moses, David, Sampson, but lately the stories haven’t been that great.  

Lately they have heard about the Assyrians, a wicked people who take the 10 tribes to the north into captivity.  Then, Babylon, another wicked people who take the 2 tribes to the south into captivity.  Then, Persians, another ungodly people who take out the Babylonians and issue a decree allowing Israel to return home, which is great, but Israel is having to start all over.

They are having to rebuild their homes, restart their economy, re-establish their community, and they are still living under the oppression of the Persian government, so that their awe and worship of God is waning and it is trickling down into their relationships with one another.  But, there is HOPE.  

In Malachi 3 the Lord reminds them of His unending love, therefore, we are called to give our lives completely to Him, and when we give our lives to the Lord we will become a  biblically dangerous leader for His glory.  Here are 11 practical characteristics:

  1. Make a pact with God to meet with Him daily.  The Lord is worthy of our lives, therefore, we give ourselves to Him every day through the reading of His Word and prayer.
    • When you read the bible ask these questions, “What does the passage teach me about the character of God?  What does the passage teach me about the brokenness of humanity?  How does the passage expose our need for Jesus?”
    • When you pray add these elements into prayer:
      • Adoration:  Awe of God.
      • Submission:  Submit to His will.
      • Trust:  Ask for His help to trust Him.
      • Confession:  Confess areas of sin.
      • Protection:  Ask for help to be on guard against the evil one.  
  2. Develop an excitement for His kingdom, rather than your kingdom.  Our kingdoms are small, short-sighted, and filled with anxiety.  His Kingdom is eternal, diverse, and filled with power and joy.  Seek His kingdom!
  3. Persistent growth in personal character rather than building your reputation.  Confess sin daily.  Uproot idols with the gospel daily.  Build godly relationships with other men and women who are wanting to grow in godliness.  Read God’s Word.  Stop making excuses.  Take responsibility.  Grow in character!
  4. Expect life to bring challenges.  Life is difficult.  Build your life in preparation for that difficulty.  Roll with the punches.  Tons of people can get excited for a season, but length of time is what makes you dangerous.  
  5. Raise up others to be a biblically dangerous leader.  Pour into people.  Resist the temptation of just being satisfied with people hearing what you have to say about life.  Pour into people who will pour into people.  
  6. Love repentance.  Love confessing sin.  Love being in awe of the cross.  This is what makes you the most dangerous, because you can’t believe that God would love someone who is layered in as much death and destruction as you are in life.
  7. Rejoice in God’s grace in the life of others.  Don’t give into a competitive attitude with others.  Run your own race.  You aren’t trying to beat out the guy next to you.  You are learning about your gifts and talents that the Lord has uniquely given to you and you are doubling down on those gifts and talents.  It is easy to become critical of others but instead it would be better to be known for being an encourager of others.  
  8. Celebrate little things.  Life is hard.  There are going to be tons of misses.  If we are going to aim for becoming a biblically dangerous leader then we are going to run hard and the best medicine for running hard is celebrating little things.  
  9. Love rest.  The Sabbath is ultimately in the cross, but a biblically dangerous leader loves the idea of everything not resting on your shoulders.  You know how to turn it off.  You know how to nap.  You know how to walk with peace.  You know how to be still and know that the Lord is the Lord.  
  10. Don’t get swept up in the latest fads.  The cross is the coolest thing ever.  A new pastor, a new book, a new -ism, a new-est is just going to come and go, but you are always going to be in awe of the cross.  

Value people.  Do you care about people?  All people are made in God’s image, therefore, a biblically dangerous leader cares about people.  You care about how you build relationships with people.  You are curious about their story.  You don’t people walking away from their time with you thinking about YOUR GLORY but instead you want people to walk away and think, “I want to go read the Bible, I want to share the gospel, I want to be a better spouse.  I want to know GOD’S GLORY!”

Spiritual Fitness: 2024

New year, new you!  It seems like every place we look, someone or something is trying to help us prepare for the new year.  Why is that?  It’s not like 2023 was inherently evil and 2024 is going to provide a new outlook on life.

But a new year does provide an opportunity for reflection.  The season is slowing down. Weather is cooler.  Nights come earlier.  It’s like all of creation is getting tucked in for bed and in the same way there are some benefits for reflecting on the care of our mind, body and soul.  

Our church family provides a resource called Yearly Rhythms, which you can get for free on a Sunday morning at our resource table or you can order your own on Amazon.  There are tons of resources for us to learn how to care for our bodies.  This particular writing will focus on how we care for our soul.  

Last summer our family was returning from our trip to South Padre Island.  It’s the nicest beach in Texas, so we try to go every year.  On our return home we realized we were short on gas and my wife said, “We can get gas at this exit.”  But the gas station was on the other side of the highway and I didn’t want to waste ALL that time going to the other side of the highway, so I said, “We will just wait for the next exit.”

Little did I know, the next exit for gas was 40 miles away!  Unfortunately we noticed this about 10 miles into our journey and my wife said, “We better turn around and go back to that gas station.”  But I have this unusual gift where I find it almost impossible to turn around for anything, so I said to my family, “I bet we can make it!”

Everyone in the car sighed in disbelief.  At this point I could tell my wife was irritated but I thought the worst case is that I will have to walk to the gas station, so I confidently told everyone, “Don’t worry.  Everything will be fine.” 

10 miles later into the trip, half-way there, we saw the Border CheckPoint so we all said to ourselves, “Great, we can get gas from them.”  Unfortunately, the Border Patrol is familiar with these types of questions and they quickly said, “No, we don’t have gas but here’s a list of companies that will bring you gas.” 

At this point the fuel gauge is beyond E.  It’s not on the E.  It’s fully on the other side of the E.  I begin to admit defeat.  I tell my family we will stop driving, leave enough gas for the AC to stay on and I will call a company to bring us gas. 

But to my surprise, when we called the company to bring gas, which is a $50 fee just to transport the gas, the person asked, “What kind of car?”  We told him and he said those little cars can go forever!  We asked in disbelief, “Are you sure?”  The gauge is beyond the E.  He said, “Just keep driving.  You will make it!”

Sure enough, we made it to the gas station.  Of course, I turned to my family and said, “See, what were yall worried about?”  Nobody thought it was funny.  

I share this story because sometimes we can treat our spiritual soul like I treated our gas tank on that day.  Every day, throughout the day, we have opportunities to feed our spiritual soul but many times we say to ourselves, “I will be fine!  Just keep going.”  This is what leads me to a few encouragements:

  1. If we have never trust in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, we need to start there.  It is our faith in Jesus that gives us a spiritual tank to fill up!
  2. Next, Jesus calls us to fill up our spiritual tanks every day, throughout the day.  Jesus calls it being a disciple.  Jesus has this conversation with Peter when Jesus goes to wash their feet.  At first Peter protests, “You could never wash my feet” because Peter thought this would be too humiliating.  But Jesus’ response is, “Peter, you have already been made clean.  You just need to be washed.”  Filling up our spiritual soul is like a good washing!
  3. Time in Scripture.  It can be a verse a day.  It can be a passage or a chapter.  It can be a quick reading or a deep study but the key is to ask ourselves these three questions:
    • What does the Scripture teach me about God’s character?
    • What does the Scripture teach me about humanities character?
    • How does Jesus bring us rescue?
  4. Prayer.  In the same way, prayers can be long, short, silent, written; it doesn’t matter.  On January 21, 2024 our church family taught through the Lord’s prayer and made these observations to include in our prayers:
    • Adoration
    • Submission
    • Trust
    • Confession
    • Protection.  
  5. Gospel.  Our time in God’s Word and prayer should lead us to a place of repentance.  Repentance means to turn from sin and turn to Jesus.  Repentance softens our heart for God.  Repentance reminds us of the glory of God.  Repentance shouldn’t fill us with shame and sorrow but joy and hope.  
  6. Rest.  The bible calls it Sabbath but our faith in Jesus gives us an eternal Sabbath, so that our rest can take place in many shapes and sizes besides one day of the week.  But we should still look to incorporate times in our week when we remind ourselves, “God is my provider and protector!”
  7. Giving.  Giving financially is a way to remind our soul that we are not the provider and protector.  Our country provides opportunities for comfort and prosperity, so that it is easy to feel like we are the ones providing and protecting, therefore, giving is a tangible act of worship, so as to say, “This dollar is not my savior!”  You can give in a lot of different ways but if you Partner with North Village Church then you can see how to give HERE.
  8. Serving.  God’s Word calls us to look not only after our own interests but also the interests of others, therefore, where in your week are you serving someone else that doesn’t benefit your own interests?  I have found that I enter into those moments kicking and screaming.  I tell myself, “I don’t have time, I don’t have energy” and yet every time afterwards I think to myself, “I am so glad I did that!”
  9. Sunday Worship.  Are you connected to a church family?  A church family provides a spiritual covering of protection.  I can’t imagine going throughout the day or week all alone.  We all need to be committed to a church family.  
  10. Fellowship.  Our culture is increasingly moving toward an isolated culture.  We can pick what we want to eat, what we want to watch, what we want to listen to and curl up in our bed and never have to be around other people.  At first glance, it sounds awesome but over time I have found that we will become bored and depressed when we are just focusing on our interests.  We need the flavor of other people!  

I have found when I am incorporating these spiritual disciplines into my life it leads me to a spiritual tank that is full.  It doesn’t mean I won’t have any problems in life.  I still have all kinds of problems but it does mean I can weather those problems more securely.  My roots in Christ are deeper.  My foundation is more solid.  My support is more deep.  My emotional maturity is more grounded.  My thoughts are more clear.  

It doesn’t mean layers of anxiety, fear, and discouragement never come my way but it means I can spot them sooner and the truth of God’s Word shapes how I respond to them when I see them coming.  

Who Am I to Speak into Someone’s Life?

How many times do we think to ourselves, “I should probably give direction based on God’s Word about what this person should do with their life?”  There are probably some of us who can’t help ourselves, some of us who think those things internally but never say anything, and there are also some of us who think, “Why would someone listen to what we have to say?”

Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.”

But God’s Word actually invites us to speak into the lives of other people and below are just a few responses we might give to that invitation:

  • Nobody would care what we have to say.
  • I am not qualified to speak into someone’s life.
  • I need to get my life in order before I talk to someone else.
  • I’ve made too many mistakes.

As a result, we tend to see people in our life put themselves in a harmful place and we never say anything.  Even worse, we wait till that horrible thing happens in their life and then we say under our breath, “I saw that coming a mile away!”  But let’s look at Exodus 3:

10 Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” 

11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” 

12 And He said, “Certainly I will be with you, and this shall be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall worship God at this mountain.”

13 Then Moses said to God, “Behold, I am going to the sons of Israel, and I will say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you.’ Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?” 

Moses has all the typical excuses that we give today.  Who am I?  What will I say?  Why should they listen?  If we looked at the next chapter we would see, “What if they don’t listen? I am not good at this? You should send someone else.”

What is God’s response to all those objections?  Look at Exodus 3:

14 God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” 

15 God, furthermore, said to Moses, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is My name forever, and this is My memorial-name to all generations. 

16 Go and gather the elders of Israel together and say to them, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, has appeared to me, saying, “I am indeed concerned about you and what has been done to you in Egypt. 

We tend to give excuses by focusing on ourselves, our resources, our abilities, our wisdom, our gifts but God’s response is to look at His calling, His power, His resources, His wisdom and invites us to trust in Him.  

This doesn’t mean we need to walk up to strangers and tell them what to do but God has called us to speak into the lives of others who are in Christ.  We are called by God to prayerfully consider, “Who needs to be encouraged, who needs to be challenged, who needs to be acknowledged, who needs to be served, who needs to be prayed for” and we get this opportunity every time we come together on Sunday morning for worship.  

What Do Pastors Do All Week?

Sometimes people will ask me, “What do pastors do all week?”  Afterall most people only see pastors on a Sunday morning but what about the rest of the week?  Surely pastors can’t work on sermons all week, right?  I have found this proverb to be helpful:

Proverbs 17:24, “Wisdom is in the presence of the one who has understanding, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.”

The easiest thing to do as a pastor is chase after the “squeaky wheel.”  There’s always a fire to put out.  There’s always something that is broken that needs to be fixed.  Sometimes a pastor could spend their whole week being really busy and being busy.  Here are some areas I have found helpful to focus on:

  • Sermon Preparation:  I spend about 10 hours a week on a sermon (2 hours a day.)  I have never preached a sermon and thought, “There is nothing else to study about this passage.”  I could easily spend 40 hours a week on a sermon.  It’s fun studying God’s Word and crafting God’s Word into a sermon but early on I prayed, “Father, help me to trust you to show up through my 10 hours of preparation.”
  • Leadership Development:  I spend about 10 hours a week on leadership development.  This includes meeting with new people, elders, volunteers, staff and setting aside time to think about where those people are and how to help them grow in Christ.
  • Vision:  I spend about 2 hours a week working on our vision as a church family and how our church is moving toward our vision.  
  • Meeting with People:  I spend about 10 hours a week meeting with people.
  • Reading:  I try to read a book a week.  A number of years ago I read a book called, “How To Read A Book.”  Isn’t that a funny title?  The author gave the encouragement that not every book is worth reading word for word, so most of the time I try to read books as fast as I can, so I can come across the books that are worth reading word for word.  
  • Prayer:  I do my own devotional time before I come to work.  Some pastors make their sermon prep their devotional time and sermon prep is personal for me but it’s always been important for me to keep these two separate so that I don’t blurr my relationship with God and my vocation as a pastor.  I typically spend about 2 hours a week in prayer.  
  • Administrative:  There are a lot of administrative tasks.  It might be sending emails, texts, blogs, phone calls, or organizing information.  I set aside 4 hours a week for administrative tasks.  Our new admin role at NVC has greatly reduced those hours, which I am very thankful for.
  • Ministry:  Most people work 40 hours at work and then volunteer additional hours for ministry, so in the same way, I try to work a 40 hour work week as a pastor and then the time I spend with neighbors, outreach, community group, or in the community are considered ministry hours.  This changes every semester but typically takes 8-12 hours in the week. 

Each semester I create a weekly schedule and plug in when and where I will work on those areas listed above.  It’s something I have done early on in ministry and found it to be really helpful. 

As a pastor, most of the work is spiritual or abstract in nature.  It isn’t often that I have the satisfaction of creating a “product” and seeing if that product was “successful” or not.  Therefore, having the structure of a schedule to know where I want to work, how I want to work and when I want to work provides the freedom to know when I can stop working.  

It doesn’t mean I will stop working as a pastor for the day but it means I will stop working on North Village Church things for the day.  I will meet with friends.  I will find a way to rest and relax.  I will spend time with my family.  And I will trust the Lord to do His work in me and through me for another day.   

Why Do We Sing the Song “Joy to the World?”

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns, let men their songs employ, while fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains, repeat the sounding joy, repeat the sounding joy, repeat, repeat the sounding joy

He rules the world with truth and grace, and makes the nations prove, the glories of His righteousness, and wonders of His love, and wonders of His love, and wonders and wonders of His, His love


Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

“Joy to the World” was written by Isaac Watts who was born in 1674 in Southampton, England.  He wrote over 750 hymns including, “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, This is the Day the Lord Has Made, and Sin Has a Thousand Treacherous Arts.”  

Watts was actually bleeding edge in his time.  As a teenager he would always complain about the music and the lack of participation from the people.  So, his father challenged him to do something. The following week he wrote, “Behold the Glories of the Lamb” and the people began to engage in the worship as he involved an emotional and theological influence in the worship.  Isn’t that fascinating?

Today, “Joy to the World” is the most published Christmas song to date, but until we see the theological truths layered in the song I think we are missing out.  Let’s look at Romans 8 to see where this song comes from.  

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

In the context of the passage, verse tells us there is new life in Jesus, there is victory in Jesus, there is freedom from sin, life-changing transformation that is glorious, but in verse 18 it also says, “There is suffering.”

It means there are people all over the world who are enjoying friends and family, having fun, enjoying rest and seeing God do great things in their life, but there are also some people all over the world who are suffering.  

How can we sing a song called “Joy to the World” when we are surrounded by suffering?  Verse 18 speaks of “glory that is to be revealed.”

This is why the song says, “Joy to the world, let earth receive her king, let heaven and nature sing, let men their songs employ, while fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains, repeat the sounding joy.”

This song isn’t just about fuzzy, warm moments around the holidays.  The song is about a baby that has come as king, lives a perfect life, takes all sin upon Himself, so that in Him, through faith, we are set free into the freedom of glory that will permeate every part of creation.  

But how does the hope of His glory lead to joy?  Imagine you are going to put two people in two rooms and give them identical tasks that are menial, boring, and difficult manual labor.  You tell them both, “You are going to work 40-hours a week, for 12-months, and no vacations.  It is going to be boring.  It is going to be tedious, and it is going to be really hard.  

To the first person you say, “At the end of the 12-months you will get an annual salary of $12,000.”  To the second person you say, “At the end of the 12-months you will get an annual salary of $12 Million.”

The first person is going to go at it for about 3-4 weeks and say, “I quit. This is too hard.  This is driving me crazy.”  But, the other person is going to say, “Done!  Not a problem, 12-months, are you kidding and whistling the whole day, every day, at work.”  Why?  The tedious trial is being overshadowed by the glory that is to be revealed.  

God’s Word teaches us, “We might get to live on this planet for 80+ years, and while we are here we will encounter suffering.  There are going to be hard days, but in verse 18 we see, “These hard days are nothing compared to the glory that is to be revealed.” 

Where is your joy?  Is it in romantic relationships that come and go?  Is your joy in the economy that is up and down?  Is your joy in how others perceive you?  What torture!

God’s Word invites us to put our joy in Jesus.  Jesus is the One who is full of power.  Jesus is the One who has come to call you His.  Jesus is the One who will return again to make all things new.  

This is why Isaac Watts writes down the words, “Joy to the World.”  It isn’t just what happens at the incarnation, it isn’t just the resurrection, it isn’t just the sanctification, but soon there is coming our glorification for the whole universe.  

What does it mean to celebrate Advent in 2023?

Is it me or are the Advent Calendars becoming more popular in the stores this year?  When our children were younger there would be little pieces of candy behind the doors but now I am seeing whiskey, cosmetics, gift cards, first class tickets to resorts.  Maybe we lost sight of advent at some point?  Especially when we are still finishing up our series in Inescapable and talking about adultery and lust on December 3rd!

Let’s start with a definition:  What is Advent?  The word “advent” means COMING, therefore, God taking on flesh as an infant is the purpose for us using the word “advent.”  The purpose of Advent is to direct our attention toward the celebration of God taking on flesh.  Advent lifts our eyes upward and outward.  Advent moves us to look back and look ahead to the day Jesus will return to make all things new. 

Therefore, during this time of the year we’re not just running from holiday event to holiday event or shopping trip to shopping trip but we want to actively and intentionally lift our eyes to the ultimate truth of what we are celebrating.  How does this happen practically?

  1. Where’s your emotional meter? The sun sets earlier with daylight savings.  The nights are getting colder.  The holidays are here.  Our minds are winding down for the end of the year.  Leaves are falling from the branches.  It’s normal this time of year to feel a little less pep in our step.  That’s okay.  It’s good to rest.  It’s godly to slow down.  It’s glorious to take naps.  No need to beat ourselves up if we sense our emotional meter is running low.  Instead, invite the Lord into those moments of lull and rejoice at His provision and protection in your life.  
  2. Where’s your mental meter? Is it just me or do you also find it easier to become nostalgic this time of year.  There are some pretty big mile markers in our year during the fall.  It makes sense that pivotal events around this time of the year would stick in our memory.  Memories are a measure of God’s grace at His provision but memories can also spiral into unproductive thoughts around despair and discouragement.  It’s easy to wallow in unrepentant sin or ideate over areas of life where we are discontent.  Instead, invite the Lord into our thought life.  Invite the Lord into our memories.  Ask the Lord to remove those bad memories and make new memories in Him and for Him!
  3. Where’s your heart meter?  Are you overwhelmed at the injustice of the world?  Right now our media companies are working overtime to make sure we know about every flaw, fault and fear in the world.  It’s overwhelming.  It would be easy to give ourselves over to cynicism.  It would be easy to scroll past another horrible event in the world and not even blink an eye.  Instead, invite the Lord into those moments.  In fact, rejoice every time we think to invite the Lord into those moments with short prayers of “Lord, this is horrible.  We know this isn’t what you want.  We know it won’t be like this forever.  Help us to put our trust in You!”  
  4. Where’s your faith meter? Maybe we should have started with this one, right?  Are there doubts creeping into your faith?  Is anxiety and worry crowding out our joy?  Are there challenges in your life that feel bigger than what the Lord can do in your life?  Instead, Advent helps us to remember that people walk in darkness and by His grace are greeted in the Light.  It’s the glory of His birth.  We might be in a dark place right now but the Lord is present, you are seen and you are loved, now into eternity.  

Either way, taking a little bit of time each day to reflect on the celebration of God taking on flesh is what is most important.  It can be the questions listed above.  It can be a song we listen to throughout the week.  It can be the conversation around the dinner table with friends and family.  It doesn’t matter how it happens but give yourself a gift this year of reflecting on the greatest news to ever into human history.  God became flesh!  If he came before, He will come again!

Lesson on Prayer

Have you ever considered moving out in the middle of nowhere?  You know, you sat in traffic on the highway just one too many times?  You fought with someone over a parking space at Costco?  You keep paying more in taxes?  Doesn’t it sound nice to be in a place that is quiet?  Can you imagine how much time you would spend in prayer?

Maybe that is God’s plan for some of us but most of us are going to have to figure out how to fight traffic, look for parking spots, pay taxes and still have a vibrant relationship with Jesus through prayer.

After all, how could a person possibly live a productive life and accomplish what they want to accomplish in a world with so many distractions and frustrations?  But somehow the majority of people are able to keep up with the favorite TV show, sports team, hobbies, etc.  Why not apply that same approach toward prayer?

I am guessing our push back to that suggestion is, “Well, when I watch TV, sports, hobby I don’t have to think.”  True.  But that same approach can happen in prayer.  Throughout church history we see a pattern of people reading their prayers.  These prayers are not extemporaneous (praying whatever comes to your mind). Instead, they’re pre-written and sometimes memorized, all of them rooted in the Psalms and scriptures and creeds designed by followers of God to cultivate our souls toward the good, beautiful and true.

Yes, some may complain that such prayers are repetitive. They can easily become rote and boring. After all, didn’t Jesus teach us not recite empty phrases as the Gentiles in Matthew 6? To “pray” by simply repeating a word or phrase over and over is unbiblical. Prayer is not a magical formula, an incantation, or the determination to say the “right” words the right number of times. Prayer is not bead-counting. Prayer is a form of communication with the God of the universe made possible through the sacrifice of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.

Therefore, finding a passage of Scripture or a written-out prayer that speaks to your head and your heart can be incredibly meaningful. I think about it like caring for sick soil. It may take years of turning the soil over, adding organic matter to fertilize it and water to soften it. But over time, those repeated rhythms transform the soil. They turn the soil from dry dirt into a seedbed of latent, life-giving potential.

Over the next 12-months our church family is challenging everyone to INCREASE IN PRAYER.  What if this was a pattern of prayer that we could add to our life?  I will warn you: it isn’t magic. You may feel nothing at first. In fact, expect to feel nothing. But you’re not doing this for a spiritual tingle. You may not hear God speak to you at first. That’s okay, He may not for years. But He may in moments.

Below are some resources for you to consider for repeated prayers:

How do you know if you’re doing too much?

You know those voices in our head, “Am I doing too much?  Am I not doing enough?”  It can take place with work, relationships, friendships, family and our faith in Jesus.  

Throughout God’s Word we see God’s Word call us to “do.”  Matthew 28, “Go and make disciples!”  James calls us not only to be hearers of the word but doers of the Word.  But God’s Word teaches us that our “doing” comes out of our “being.”  

It’s why Jesus invites us to abide with Him (John 15).  And we will bear much fruit.  The challenge is that our culture naturally pushes us toward “doing.”  (Example, “What do you do for work?”)  Doing is tied to our salary, identity, awards and “doing” is so ingrained in our culture that sometimes we don’t feel close to God unless we are “doing” something for Him.  So what’s “being“? Here’s a chart to help us distinguish:

Am I Doing Too Much?

Being

  • Interior
  • Abiding
  • Solitude
  • Intimacy
  • Invisible
  • Rest
  • Real life

Doing

  • Exterior
  • Serving
  • Engagement
  • Activity
  • Visible
  • Work

It doesn’t take much to put lots of emphasis on our “doing.”  Our accomplishments and achievements feed our insecurity and significance and sometimes this can carry over into our ministry.  However, the reality is that life in Jesus (being) is countercultural. Rest, solitude, dependence on God – these are things that make little sense from a worldly perspective but from a kingdom perspective however, they breed life. 

The Bible clearly advocates for doing. (James 1:23-25, John 2:18, James 1:22) Both being and doing are scriptural and interrelated but the biblical order is critical: what we do should flow out of who we are, not the other way around.  Otherwise, our worth and identity are determined by our achievements and accomplishments and when we stop performing we might conclude that we cease to be valuable.  But that’s not the gospel!  Jesus loved us while we were yet sinners.  Jesus loves us while we are sleeping.  Jesus loves us when we don’t do anything for Him!  It doesn’t mean we should stay in that place but we should definitely glory in that truth and remind ourselves of that truth often.  

Here are a few questions to further this conversation through prayer with the Lord:

  1. What’s your motivation for serving others?
  2. Are you expecting the Lord to show you favor because you serve others?
  3. Do you hold your “acts of service” with white knuckles because this is “your” area of serving?
  4. Are you trying to fulfill every need and request in order to please people and meet their expectations?
  5. Are you de-energized, tired and frustrated with serving and caring for people? 

These are all great questions to process with the Lord through prayer or with someone in your group, so that we can increase our prayers for one another.   

How to Combat Busyness?

It’s easy to feel busy living in Austin! Mo-Pac; am I right? In addition, we have access to more things than we can imagine (Smart phones, task management, hobbies, online, educational, entertainment, etc.).

Then, if you add a career, school, spouse, kids, house it becomes an endless list of things to do on our list. And that doesn’t include being involved in a local church in Austin and a growing relationship with Jesus.

Challenge: Let’s be honest. Being busy makes us feel important. Being busy makes us feel accomplished. Those things aren’t wrong in and of themselves but those are things that can feel exhausting. Here are some things I have found helpful to overcome busyness:

  • You’re Not Alone.  By God’s grace the Lord has blessed us with many resources and many opportunities, which means we have a lot of responsibility and a lot of things in life trying to distract us from the responsibilities. 
  • Write It Down: Have you ever written down all those responsibilities in life? Try it. Go through your week, Monday to Sunday and write down everything you are responsible for in a given week. This exercise can result in three things: First, you will see all the good and precious gifts the Lord has given you. Second, writing it down helps us not to fixate and worry about those things. Third, it’s possible things in our head seem bigger and scarier in our head. Simply writing them down can help some areas of life feel more manageable. Here’s an example:
    • Shower.
    • Breakfast.
    • Hygiene. (It all takes time!)
    • Devotional.
    • Getting children ready (If applicable.)
    • Commute.
    • Work.
    • Lunch. (Did you have to prepare it at home?)
    • Work.
    • Pick up kids (If applicable.)
    • Commute.
    • Exercise.
    • Dinner.
    • Meeting.
    • Kids ready for bed (If applicable)
    • Hygiene.
    • Sleep
  • Create A Schedule: Open up an excel document in Google drive, write down days of the week and times of the day and start filling in your areas of responsibility. We schedule things that are important. Our areas of life are important. Why not do this simple exercise to see if our areas of life “fit” into our week?
  • Rule of 8: I don’t know if that is a rule. I just made it up but doesn’t it sound good? There are 24 hours in a day; 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of work and 8 hours of discretionary time. In those 8 hours we need to shower, eat, hygiene, commute, devotional time, meetings, exercise, relationships, doctors, etc. How are we going to use those precious 8 hours? Are we using those 8 hours intentionally? Are we using those 8 hours creatively? Could we double up on some things? If we double up, are we watering down? These are all great questions but helpful to consider when we are thinking about those specific 8 hours?
  • Cutting Corners: You want to hear a dirty little secret? We all try to cut corners on those other 16 hours (sleep and work.). It’s okay, you can admit it. We wake up earlier. We stay up later. We sometimes cheat work hours but most of the time we end up working longer and cut into those precious 8 discretionary hours. We need to be honest with ourselves. Maybe we need to ask for help? But either way, make sure your real schedule shows up on your “create a schedule.”
  • Work As A Team: If you are married, make sure you go through this exercise with your spouse. There are some areas where spouses can serve one another and bless one another but if we never talk about those areas with our spouse we will miss out on those opportunities.
  • Build In Rest / Fun: When you create a schedule, build in rest, fun and renewal. Sometimes we don’t know how to rest, have fun and renew. Then, start having fun by learning what you like to do for fun. God’s Word is clear, life is hard. Creation was made perfect in Genesis 1-2, creation ends perfect in Revelation 21-22 and everything in the middle is a rollercoaster of hardship, so schedule in rest, fun and renewal every week. 
    • What Has God Called Me to In Life?: This might be the most important point. We can have a lot of plates to spin in life but are we spinning the plates the Lord has given us responsibility to spin? How do you know God’s calling on your life?
    • Pray. Ask Him to show you!
    • We’re all called in Christ to live for His glory. Therefore, look at the areas of life you have been entrusted and prayerfully ask, “How can I honor the Lord in these areas of my life?”
    • Where are we gifted? Through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit we are given spiritual gifts, therefore, we want to align our gifts with His glory and our calendar. 

These are just a few helpful tips but the good news is that we could never “do” enough to validate our existence. There are no titles, circles of friends, trophies, or financial standing that is going to satisfy our inner desire of significance. In fact, we will likely destroy our lives in the process of trying to build up that significance. This is the good news of the gospel!

Jesus comes to call us His. Jesus comes to give us His righteousness, His eternal significance as sons and daughters of the Most High. Therefore, under the umbrella of His peace, let us consider how we are gifted, areas where we have been blessed, so that we might stumble forward and live for His glory.