Tag Archives: christianity

How Do You Build a Successful Life?

How many times have you been driving down a bumpy road and thought your car was about to fall apart?  Sometimes the car hits one of those bumps and you feel the frame of the car slam into the wheels and you are convinced your car is about to fall apart!  In those moments you need good shocks that can absorb the bumps of the road.

In the same way, life can be like those bumpy roads.  It can be a call from a doctor, an argument with your spouse, a meeting with your supervisor, a late night of waiting for that teenager to send in an update about where they are; life can get really bumpy.

How are we supposed to enjoy life if there are so many bumps in the road?  Are we supposed to move out into the middle of nowhere?  Wait!  There’s tons of bumps in the road in the middle of nowhere 🙂

Sometimes a person can become so fatigued by the challenges of life they try to reduce the amount of possibilities. We cut off friends.  We break off relationships.  We build a fortress of solitude around ourselves and still challenges in life will break in and create some bumps.  What do we do?

The universities don’t teach how to absorb those challenges.  Our careers might give us some coping skills but even our careers won’t help us when it feels like the world is being pulled out from under our feet.  Copy and paste these somewhere to help you remember:

1. Do you believe God Is Sovereign?  The word “Sovereign” means “Control.”  Do you believe God is in control of all things? Do you believe God is with you always?  What was Joseph believing when he was being betrayed by His brothers?  What did Jacob believe when he was working for a wicked uncle?  What was David believing when he was hiding in a cave after being anointed to be king?  What did Paul cling to when he was in prison, shipwrecked, beaten, bitten by snakes and left to die?  What did Jesus hold on to when the Father’s will was for Him to be spit upon, beaten and put on a cross?  It is the follower of Jesus who goes through the ups and downs of life but you keep trusting your Heavenly Father because He is in control. (Romans 8)

2. Is your ultimate hope growing in God’s glory? The Apostle Paul wrote, “The sufferings of this world are not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to be revealed.”  James teaches us to consider the sufferings of our day to be joy in light of God’s glory.  Do you glory in His glory?  Do you believe if the Lord only brought you hardship and pain in this life, He is still worthy to be praised?  Do you believe the words of Habakkuk, “Thou there be not fruit on the vine, nor food in the stall, I will exalt you!”  Do you believe what this world has to offer is not the best this life has to offer?  When you turn your trust to His glory it will carry through any pain this world has to offer.

3. Are you celebrating God’s goodness in your life today?  Right now!  You woke up this morning.  You just took a breath.  You have people in your life.  You have talents and gifts.  You have challenges to persevere!  And most of all, through faith in Jesus, He calls you His for eternity!  You might not make it to tomorrow.  You might not make it home today!  Therefore, rejoice in the Lord today!  Write down His blessings in your life.  Recount them every day.  Tell Him of all His goodness.  Hug the people around you.  Write a note of encouragement.  Send that text.  Laugh with those people.  Enjoy the work of your hands.  Why worry about tomorrow?  Instead, enjoy more today!

4. Are you putting yourself in a place to be captivated by His presence?  The glory of the Lord is around you at all times.  He hears our prayers.  He intercedes on our behalf.  He speaks encouragement into our soul.  He is our helper.  He is our comforter.  In every storm of life, He is there, He is working and He is good.

Wind and waves come in life but there is only one who rebukes the wind and the waves. He was there with Moses.  He was there with Joseph.  He was with David.  He was next to Esther in those moments when she uttered those timeless words, “For such a time as this.”  But you need shocks to make it in this life.

What About Masturbation?

I am not necessarily looking to talk about a subject that is uncomfortable for everyone but an older man once said to me, “In the absence of saying nothing, people fill in their own answers.”

There was a season of life where I thought, “We don’t need to talk about this subject in mass communication do we?”  Sure, we can talk about it at a Men’s Group here and there but not to the congregation at large, right?  But in the absence of saying nothing, people fill in their own answers and that truth is more applicable today than ever.  

First, let’s make sure we are all on the same page.  Masturbation is the experience of sexual orgasm produced by self-stimulation. Virtually every man and woman has tried it in some capacity.  

Second, this is a blog that we try to keep concise.  Please don’t look at this article as the beginning and end of the conversation.  Please search the Scriptures, wrestle with this subject and seek godly counsel in the process.  

Third, the Bible doesn’t mention masturbation or self-gratification specifically.  There are passages that some will reference like Genesis 38 and “spilling of the seed.”  However, the sin of Onan is because he refuses to provide an heir for his deceased brother, not masturbation.  

Another passage is Matthew 5 when Jesus speaks of cutting off your right hand if it causes you to sin.  While there is a connection between lustful thoughts and masturbation, it isn’t likely Jesus had masturbation in mind specifically, therefore, there isn’t necessarily a specific verse for us to reference.  

Fourth, we do know God created sex to be good.  In Genesis 1-2 we see Adam and Eve were naked, unashamed and called by God to be fruitful and multiply to His glory.  Our sexual desires were created to be good and glorifying to God.

However, in Genesis 3 our sin completely distorts what God created to be good but Jesus has come to reconcile us to God through faith and restore a biblical view of sex, which is designed by God to take place within the commitment of marriage between a man and a woman.  

Therefore, how do we live in that restoration today?  How do we experience healing in this area of our life?  What does that healing look like practically?  Here are some thoughts to consider:

  1. What do we do with all those sexual desires?  Sometimes we just think God created our arms, legs, head, torso and our genitals appeared there by accident.  But God created our body parts to do what they do and feel what they feel, therefore, we must be asking, “How do we steward these sexual desires for His glory?”  
  2. What about pornography?  The biggest challenge with masturbation is it is often associated with pornography.  Any time we are dabbling in any type of sexual immorality we are wondering outside of God’s design of sex.  10-years ago people outside of Christ would have gloried in pornography but today, even people outside of Christ recognize the dangers of pornography.  
  3. Will the desire for masturbation go away when we are married?  Although marriage is a gift, the gift of marriage won’t remove the temptation of masturbation because our sexual desires are ultimately desires for intimacy at the deepest part of our soul.  Therefore, when our thoughts are wandering toward masturbation it might be because we are lonely, stressed, overwhelmed and masturbation might seem like a quick way to gratify those needs but ultimately, in those moments, our soul is longing for intimacy with our Creator and it would be better to see these desires as reminders that our soul is longing for something more.   
  4. If I am married, should I talk to my spouse about these desires?  1 Corinthians 7 teaches us that a wife doesn’t have the right over her body but her husband and her husband doesn’t have the right over his body but his wife, therefore, in marriage, masturbation is a conversation that would be great to take place between husband and wife and not something we want to keep in secret.
  5. Isn’t this just a personal decision?  Sometimes we might tell ourselves, “Well, I will just meet this sexual desire quickly, so I don’t get entangled in other desires.”  Giving ourselves over to one fleshly desire  isn’t the way to overcome other fleshly desires.  Perhaps it would be better to confess those desires to Jesus and ask for His help?  Perhaps Jesus can meet us in those desires in ways we could never imagine?
  6. What if pornography and lust isn’t involved?  It’s possible.  But I am not sure God’s Word gives us a wide open door here.  In that process we are still training our flesh.  We are training our bodies to experience immediate gratification.  There are chemicals being released in those moments and those chemicals create attachment, therefore, we want to be mindful that we aren’t simply giving ourselves over to our desires.  
  7. Is masturbation disgusting?  It’s possible you have heard this subject discussed in a tone of the “worst thing possible.”  Any desire to overcome the desires of the flesh should be seen equally.  Our hope is that Jesus has come to cleanse us of our sin, we are indwelled by the Holy Spirit and empowered by the Spirit to live godly lives in Him.  
  8. What if masturbation is a pattern in my life that is out of control?  The first step is to invite Jesus into this conversation through confession, repentance and forgiveness.  In addition, it would be good to invite a friend or two into this conversation as well.  1 John teaches us to bring our offenses into the light so that we might find healing.  Start there!  
  9. What about past memories that keep popping into our minds?  Jesus has come to make us new.  We aren’t made clean in Christ because we are physically or sexually pure.  We are made clean through faith in Jesus.  We are given new eyes, new minds, new thoughts.  Ask Jesus to renew your mind in this area of life and remove those memories.  
  10. Are there any resources to consider?  There are some great resources to consider.  It’s possible you might feel overwhelmed and need immediate support.  Please reach out to someone for help or contact one of these organizations.  (1.) https://puredesire.org/ (2.) https://samsonsociety.com/ (3.) https://www.bebroken.org/

If you feel out of control in this area, you’re not alone.  We live in a sexualized culture that can seek out any thought with a touch of a button.  Our hope isn’t to physically overcome these desires on our own.  Our hope is to find the greatest intimacy we could ever imagine in Christ.  

Therefore, rejoice, the Spirit is already at work as you consider these things.  Next, invite Jesus into this conversation.  And then consider reaching out to a friend for encouragement as you explore, “What’s shaping your thoughts?  What’s feeding your desires? How might you respond to these challenges in life in a different way?”

Are you becoming a dangerous leader or a biblically dangerous leader?

There are some leaders who want all the attention, overlook the needs of others, not really interested in the glory of God but love the idea of titles, making decisions and everyone respecting them.  It’s the difference between a dangerous leader and a biblically dangerous leader for God’s glory!

Malachi 1:6, “‘A son honors his father, and a servant his master. Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?’ says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests who despise My name. But you say, ‘How have we despised Your name?’”

In the book of Malachi the people of Malachi’s day are living through a difficult season.  Their morale is low, their souls are depleted, they have lost optimism in the Lord, and their worship in the Lord is waning so much that He brings rebuke in chapter 1 to their spiritual leaders.

Up to this point the people of Israel have grown up hearing great things about the Lord through leaders like Abraham, Moses, David, Sampson, but lately the stories haven’t been that great.  

Lately they have heard about the Assyrians, a wicked people who take the 10 tribes to the north into captivity.  Then, Babylon, another wicked people who take the 2 tribes to the south into captivity.  Then, Persians, another ungodly people who take out the Babylonians and issue a decree allowing Israel to return home, which is great, but Israel is having to start all over.

They are having to rebuild their homes, restart their economy, re-establish their community, and they are still living under the oppression of the Persian government, so that their awe and worship of God is waning and it is trickling down into their relationships with one another.  But, there is HOPE.  

In Malachi 3 the Lord reminds them of His unending love, therefore, we are called to give our lives completely to Him, and when we give our lives to the Lord we will become a  biblically dangerous leader for His glory.  Here are 11 practical characteristics:

  1. Make a pact with God to meet with Him daily.  The Lord is worthy of our lives, therefore, we give ourselves to Him every day through the reading of His Word and prayer.
    • When you read the bible ask these questions, “What does the passage teach me about the character of God?  What does the passage teach me about the brokenness of humanity?  How does the passage expose our need for Jesus?”
    • When you pray add these elements into prayer:
      • Adoration:  Awe of God.
      • Submission:  Submit to His will.
      • Trust:  Ask for His help to trust Him.
      • Confession:  Confess areas of sin.
      • Protection:  Ask for help to be on guard against the evil one.  
  2. Develop an excitement for His kingdom, rather than your kingdom.  Our kingdoms are small, short-sighted, and filled with anxiety.  His Kingdom is eternal, diverse, and filled with power and joy.  Seek His kingdom!
  3. Persistent growth in personal character rather than building your reputation.  Confess sin daily.  Uproot idols with the gospel daily.  Build godly relationships with other men and women who are wanting to grow in godliness.  Read God’s Word.  Stop making excuses.  Take responsibility.  Grow in character!
  4. Expect life to bring challenges.  Life is difficult.  Build your life in preparation for that difficulty.  Roll with the punches.  Tons of people can get excited for a season, but length of time is what makes you dangerous.  
  5. Raise up others to be a biblically dangerous leader.  Pour into people.  Resist the temptation of just being satisfied with people hearing what you have to say about life.  Pour into people who will pour into people.  
  6. Love repentance.  Love confessing sin.  Love being in awe of the cross.  This is what makes you the most dangerous, because you can’t believe that God would love someone who is layered in as much death and destruction as you are in life.
  7. Rejoice in God’s grace in the life of others.  Don’t give into a competitive attitude with others.  Run your own race.  You aren’t trying to beat out the guy next to you.  You are learning about your gifts and talents that the Lord has uniquely given to you and you are doubling down on those gifts and talents.  It is easy to become critical of others but instead it would be better to be known for being an encourager of others.  
  8. Celebrate little things.  Life is hard.  There are going to be tons of misses.  If we are going to aim for becoming a biblically dangerous leader then we are going to run hard and the best medicine for running hard is celebrating little things.  
  9. Love rest.  The Sabbath is ultimately in the cross, but a biblically dangerous leader loves the idea of everything not resting on your shoulders.  You know how to turn it off.  You know how to nap.  You know how to walk with peace.  You know how to be still and know that the Lord is the Lord.  
  10. Don’t get swept up in the latest fads.  The cross is the coolest thing ever.  A new pastor, a new book, a new -ism, a new-est is just going to come and go, but you are always going to be in awe of the cross.  

Value people.  Do you care about people?  All people are made in God’s image, therefore, a biblically dangerous leader cares about people.  You care about how you build relationships with people.  You are curious about their story.  You don’t people walking away from their time with you thinking about YOUR GLORY but instead you want people to walk away and think, “I want to go read the Bible, I want to share the gospel, I want to be a better spouse.  I want to know GOD’S GLORY!”

Who Am I to Speak into Someone’s Life?

How many times do we think to ourselves, “I should probably give direction based on God’s Word about what this person should do with their life?”  There are probably some of us who can’t help ourselves, some of us who think those things internally but never say anything, and there are also some of us who think, “Why would someone listen to what we have to say?”

Colossians 3:16, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom.”

But God’s Word actually invites us to speak into the lives of other people and below are just a few responses we might give to that invitation:

  • Nobody would care what we have to say.
  • I am not qualified to speak into someone’s life.
  • I need to get my life in order before I talk to someone else.
  • I’ve made too many mistakes.

As a result, we tend to see people in our life put themselves in a harmful place and we never say anything.  Even worse, we wait till that horrible thing happens in their life and then we say under our breath, “I saw that coming a mile away!”  But let’s look at Exodus 3:

10 Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.” 

11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” 

12 And He said, “Certainly I will be with you, and this shall be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall worship God at this mountain.”

13 Then Moses said to God, “Behold, I am going to the sons of Israel, and I will say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you.’ Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?” 

Moses has all the typical excuses that we give today.  Who am I?  What will I say?  Why should they listen?  If we looked at the next chapter we would see, “What if they don’t listen? I am not good at this? You should send someone else.”

What is God’s response to all those objections?  Look at Exodus 3:

14 God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” 

15 God, furthermore, said to Moses, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is My name forever, and this is My memorial-name to all generations. 

16 Go and gather the elders of Israel together and say to them, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, has appeared to me, saying, “I am indeed concerned about you and what has been done to you in Egypt. 

We tend to give excuses by focusing on ourselves, our resources, our abilities, our wisdom, our gifts but God’s response is to look at His calling, His power, His resources, His wisdom and invites us to trust in Him.  

This doesn’t mean we need to walk up to strangers and tell them what to do but God has called us to speak into the lives of others who are in Christ.  We are called by God to prayerfully consider, “Who needs to be encouraged, who needs to be challenged, who needs to be acknowledged, who needs to be served, who needs to be prayed for” and we get this opportunity every time we come together on Sunday morning for worship.