Finding Romance

When you first meet someone it seems that romance is naturally in the air. So excited to be on a date, hold hands, get to know one another, but sometimes romance can start to fade.

Below are a few points of application to keep the romance alive in your marriage:

Relationship With Jesus: We have to have a relationship with Jesus if we are going to make it in marriage. Until Jesus is central it is going to be an uphill climb. You have two people going in two different directions. We need to start with a relationship with Jesus.


Roles: We need to function in our roles. Genesis teaches us there are roles within marriage. The husband is to lead. It doesn’t mean he does everything he wants, but that he sets the pace in the relationships and leads. The wife is there to help him lead. Marriage is a high calling and God has given the husband and wife roles within marriage.

Commitment: Even though we hurt each other, and we do, there has to be commitment to each other. You can’t threaten divorce when you get in fights. If you want to cause an emotional wreck for your children then let them hear you threaten each other with divorce. It will wreck them. If it comes out of your mouth then you apologize as quick as possible.

Communication: Talking. Married couples need to talk. I know some of the guys want to beat me up right now, but if we want a strong marriage there needs to be conversation. I know kids make it difficult so you need to have dates. You can bring the kids sometimes, but sometimes you need to get a baby sitter and go out on dates. No friends, no movies, make the dinner at home and make it to go if you need to, but you need to connect and talk again. Not about work, not about the neighbors, not about the children, but about what’s going on inside your heart. You have those moments and they will fill your heart. You will be more loving to each other, more gracious, you will pick up his shoes again because you love him, you will kiss her again because you love her. You need those moments.

Romance: We fell in love because of romance. Nobody got married because he was good at fixing things or she could organize a grocery list. You got married because you looked at each other and your hearts melted. Then it happened as an instinct and now sometimes it needs to be done out of discipline. It’s okay to put on some makeup, some lip gloss, its okay to shave, put on some deodorant and pursue romance. Find out what communicates love to them and do it. Read the 5 Love Languages. My wife says she has all of them so I have plenty of opportunities. Listen we can be stubborn and think we should wait for it, want it to just happen, it should be natural, but if you are waiting for romance when you have a couple of kids, schedules, work, house, friends, then you are going to be waiting for romance for a long time. It is okay to plan romance if you need to. Put on a calendar to remind yourself to do something romantic every week. Sometimes we need to plan for romance.

Now stop reading and this and go get some romance 🙂

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