My wife and I have worked in pastoral ministry for over 20-years.  My wife has worked in personal counseling as a Licensed Professional Counselor for 10 of those years.  A common theme in parenting we have noticed is that the pressure of parenting is at an all time high. That’s why I am so excited to read the book, “The Myth of Good Christian Parenting” by Burt and McGinnis coming out in October 2025.

If you’ve been a Christian parent for more than a week, you’ve probably felt the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure that if you “do it right,” your kids will turn out to be your definition of perfect little saints.

The Myth of Good Christian Parenting confronts that pressure head-on. The central premise is simple but liberating: There is no magic formula for raising “perfect” Christian kids. You can pray with them, take them to church, memorize Scripture together, and still, they may choose their own path, sometimes far from God.

That’s not a sign you failed. It’s a reminder that parenting is about faithfulness, not control. God calls us to be stewards, not puppet-masters.

Why This Matters:

As a pastor in Austin for 15 years, I’ve sat across from countless parents in my office who were quietly drowning in shame. Their adult child wasn’t walking with Jesus, and they thought it was entirely their fault. This book helps dismantle that lie.

It offers a theological reset:

• God is the perfect Father—and even His kids rebelled.
• Your calling is obedience, not outcome.
• The Holy Spirit does the transforming work, not your parenting techniques.

Caution:

It’s possible someone could read this book and it could evoke bitterness or anger at people or resources who painted a picture of “follow these steps” with “guaranteed results.” But I would caution the reader to tread lightly in this area.

1. Every parent I have ever met tends to have rose-tinted glasses toward their children. Parents tend to hear what parents want to hear about any resource. The allure of finding the “secret” to parenting is a strong temptation to anyone because we love our children so much and we find great comfort in thinking our approach toward parenting is going to “work.”
2. Parents also tend to be reactionary. I have found, in my life and others, the majority of parental motivation is “giving our children what we didn’t receive.” It’s an admirable goal. The only problem, the hearts and mind of our children might have completely different needs than us!
3. Parenting styles aren’t cookie-cutter. What worked for one family might not work for another family. What worked for one child, might be the worst thing for another child. It doesn’t mean parenting is doomed to fail, but it does mean we should layer our attitude toward parenting with more generosity.
4. Wallow in forgiveness. Instead of wallowing in bitterness, extend forgiveness. Instead of pointing the finger, remember there’s no perfect solution other than Christ! Instead of storing up wrath, remember the Lord gave us the exact parent, child and resources at the time for our good and His glory!
5. Be careful not to get too excited or too discouraged about parenting. That child or parent might be doing “great” right now or “struggling” right now but in 10-years or 20-years, it might look completely different. I have seen people’s lives change for the glory of Jesus in moments, and I have seen people walk away from Jesus after decades of getting everything they wanted. Our hope is that when we are in Christ, one day we will be raised in glory. Everything else is just ups and downs for a “little while.”
6. Be on guard against giving up as a parent. The attitude of a parent saying “I don’t want to influence my children” might feel warm and cozy, but it is a cop out. Everything and everyone in the world is trying to engage our children, why not the people who love them the most. This doesn’t mean a parent should try to control their children, but they should definitely step into their role as a parent and try to intentionally speak into their life.
7. The majority of children are going to get punched in the face with their failures and flaws as they enter into adulthood. The easiest thing for them to do is point the finger at parents, because it feels like, “If they would have done this, I wouldn’t struggle with that.” It can be my parents were too involved, I felt smothered. But it can also be my parents weren’t involved, I felt like they didn’t care. Life is hard. The only perfect place to point our heart and the hearts of our children is Jesus.
8. Take heart! If you are parenting little ones today, there is likely a challenge coming for our children that we aren’t even aware of as parents. We have no idea what it is like to be those children. We have no idea what it is like to interpret the information they are receiving. How could any parent perfectly speak into the hearts and minds of children 10-years into the future? Therefore, our only hope is that Jesus will speak into our heart and the hearts of our children! Let’s turn our hearts and minds to rest in Him!

If you found any of this helpful, I wrote a quick encouragement in a previous post “Essential Truths for Struggling Parents.” Read through it as you have time! Other than that, remember that children and parents are just people.