Everyone has a season of life where we start to feel grumpy: We want our marriage to feel closer, but every week feels like the same argument. We want our job to be meaningful, but Sunday night still feels like dread. We want our parenting to be calmer, but we keep losing our patience at the same places. And we end up living in this exhausting middle space: We hope things will get better, but it doesn’t feel like anything will actually change.

Most people don’t even know how to talk about this tension. They assume the frustration means something is wrong with them. Or they plataue into mediocrity, convincing themselves nothing will ever change.

But the real issue isn’t desire or effort, or Steve at work always talking about the best way to roast coffee beans for the 27th time. The real issue is how we hold the hope for change and the reality of where we are, without getting stuck in an eternal state of grumpiness.

It starts with being CONTENT so that we are able to find HOPE.

If a person is internally unsettled about an area of life, their hope isn’t really hope, it’s desperation. It’s a Hail Mary. It is in those moment that we rush decisions. We cling to an outcome that has to happen, or else! Of course we are filled with anxiety, because it all has to work together the way we want, when we want, and how we want.

In addition, taking steps toward being content with where we are in life of our career, marriage, health, finances, friends is the first step to accepting that we don’t need to change to be okay.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have goals in life. There’s nothing wrong with goals. It’s great to have dreams, but before we get to goals and dreams we want to combat the lie that says, “I will be okay when this or that happens in my life.”

The power of being content breaks that lie and says, “I am okay with who I am today, even if nothing ever changes.” Take a second just to consider the weight of that statement. Do you enjoy the person you are today? Do you enjoy the quality of your marriage, health, finances, children, and career today? If nothing ever changed in those areas, would you be content? If not, we will always set ourselves up for the “next big thing.”

When we are ready to accept where we are in life and who we are in life we are able to see hope enter into the story of our life. Now, after we’ve done the work of being content we can see that hope isn’t a condition for us to pursue, but instead, hope is simply fuel for us to enjoy the possibility of what might come in the days ahead.

HOPE isn’t mandatory of what HAS TO HAPPEN, but instead, hope is FUEL for what MIGHT HAPPEN!

Hope interpreted as a necessity becomes a weight that can feel like pressure, which creates anxiety. But if we start with contentment, then hope becomes empowering, not condemning. The sequence matters because your value as a person isn’t dependent on the results. You can dream about a brighter future but you’re not held hostage by that dream. Here are 5 principles to help us remember:

1. Finding contentment with who we are and where we are removes the panic that something has to change. When we are panicked in life, then every conversation feels like an emergency.
2. Finding contentment with who we are and where we are removes the frustration we have toward life. When it comes to our marriage, health, career, children, finances; we don’t have to hate where we are to build a better tomorrow.
3. Finding contentment with who we are and where we are brings clarity, so that hope is given clearer direction. It is in those moments that we stop chasing cobwebs and go kill the spider!
4. Finding contentment with who we are and where we are removes the pressure. As long as we feel “behind” as a person or in an area of life we are going to be fueled by outside circumstances. Instead, we want to release hope to be a preferred future that doesn’t have to happen.
5. Finding contentment with who we are and where we are is accessible today. Nothing has to change. It’s totally perspective. It’s this transition that allows hope to shape a long-term process of growth.

At the end of the day, getting over grumpiness isn’t about pretending everything is fine or forcing yourself to feel optimistic. It’s about remembering that you can be grounded in who you are and where you are today, while still moving toward a better tomorrow.

Contentment gives you the peace to breathe again; hope gives you the courage to take the next step. And when those two work together, you stop waiting for life to change before you show up to it. You start living today with the freedom and clarity you thought only existed in the future.

How to Live This Today (Simple, Practical Application)

Step 1 — Name the area where you’re frustrated.

Marriage.
Career.
Health.
Finances.
Parenting.

Step 2 — Say this sentence out loud:

“I can be grounded and settled with who I am and where I am, even if nothing changes today.”

Step 3 — Identify ONE hopeful action.

• One honest conversation.
• One boundary.
• One habit.
• One budget move.
• One apology.
• One walk.
• One resume sent.
• One evening without your phone.

References to consider:

1. Philippians 4: Peace and pursuit held together through contentment.
2. Edwin Friedman, “A Failure of Nerve.”
3. Dallas Willard, “Renovation of the Heart.”