Tag Archives: loss

Still Standing: A Night of Comedy + Life + Hope

The 5-Day Humor & Hope Challenge

Building Resilience One Laugh, One Story, One Step at a Time

Let’s be honest: life can feel like a roller coaster you didn’t want to ride.

Some of us are raising teenagers, losing loved ones, trying to keep marriages alive, or just trying to get the dog to stop chewing Amazon boxes. (Why is cardboard the forbidden fruit for a dog?)

As a pastor for 25 years, a husband for 26 years, and a dad to two grown children, I’ve learned the hard way that life isn’t about avoiding the storm. It’s about learning how to dance in it, and sometimes laugh so hard you forget it’s raining.

That’s why I created the 5-Day Humor & Hope Challenge, a simple rhythm of encouragement to help real people (like you and me) build resilience through laughter, faith, and small honest steps.

If you’re tired, burned out, or just looking for something to lighten the load, this is for you.

Day 1: Own Your Mess—Then Laugh!

Let’s stop pretending we’ve got it all together. That’s exhausting. The truth is, some of your best moments, the things that bond you to other people, are the stories you’re tempted to hide.

Like the time I had to walk my mom (who had schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s) into her facility because we couldn’t provide care for her at our house. It was horrible. It was one of those moments where you curl up on the couch in the fetal position.

There wasn’t much in life that prepared me for those days. But laughter helped carry me through it.

Scripture: “A cheerful heart is good medicine…” (Proverbs 17:22)
Action: Tell someone your funniest hard story this week. Let them laugh with you, not at you.

Day 2: Laugh WITH Your Spouse, Not AT Them

Marriage isn’t built on perfect communication or flawless date nights. It’s built on punchlines, patience, and being willing to forgive each other when you forget to cancel that Amazon order for the third time.

We’ve had seasons in our marriage where it felt like the only thing keeping us together was the mess—but laughing with your spouse is a real gift!

Scripture: “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
Action: Think of one ridiculous memory that brought you closer. Text it to your spouse with a, “Can you believe we made it through that?”

Day 3: Give Grace to Your Family’s Weirdness

Every family is weird. Some are just better at hiding it.

But when you start giving grace instead of judgment, when you see your dad’s addiction or your mom’s mental illness through a lens of compassion, it opens the door for deeper healing and humor.

Resilience in families comes when we stop needing people to be perfect and start celebrating their progress.

Scripture: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)
Action: Say this prayer: “God, help me laugh more than I lecture today.” Then try it.

Day 4: Choose Hope When It Feels Optional

Hope isn’t passive, it’s practiced. It’s what you choose when you’ve buried people you love. It’s what you hold onto when you feel like giving up would be easier.

It’s not denial. It’s defiance against despair.

Scripture: “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)
Action: Write down one hard thing you’ve made it through. Title it: “I’m still standing.” That’s your reminder.

Day 5: Share What’s Real (Not Just What’s Right)

People aren’t looking for polished faith. They’re looking for honest hope.

You don’t have to be the expert. Just be someone who’s still in it. Still praying. Still messing up. Still laughing. Still standing.

Scripture: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Action: Call or message someone and say, “Can I tell you something real?” Then do it. That’s how light gets in.

Final Thought: You’re Not Failing—You’re Building Resilience

If you made it through this blog, guess what?
You’re doing better than you think.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep showing up, with a little more grace, a little more grit, and maybe a little more laughter.

And if you ever need someone to remind you that God still works through broken people with Costco outfits, I’m your guy.

Practical Steps with Grief

Over the last few years I have received a lesson in grief that I wasn’t looking to learn.  My mother passed away in 2021.  My brother passed away in 2022, and just recently my father-in-law passed away suddenly.  

When my mother and brother passed away so close to one another I reached out to a class called Grief Share.  Grief Share is located in most cities and a great resource to help people learn about grief and acknowledge grief practically.  

There are 7 primary lessons I learned through Grief Share:

  1. I learned about grief. Grief is the emotional reaction of sorrow.  Sometimes grief can be brought on by loss of a loved one, physical or emotional pain or a type of suffering we might experience in life.  It’s possible in our culture in the United States we are so uncomfortable with grief that we might only think of grief in the “most horrible” situations.  But it would be better to see grief on a spectrum. There are different levels of grief.  There are different levels of intensity as we go through seasons of grief. 
  2. Death isn’t a normal part of life. People will say things like this when you experience loss.  However, the Bible teaches us that God created us to experience eternal life.  Death in fact, is the result of our sin, therefore, grieving, sorrow, sadness and mourning are all appropriate ways to respond to death. 
  3. God grieves. Again, God created the world to be perfect, therefore, any death we see in the world is grieving to the Lord.  So much so He took on flesh to take the ultimate death upon Himself, so that we don’t have to grieve for eternity. 
  4. We can grieve intentionally or accidentally.  Grief is going to come out of our soul at some point.  We can ignore, suppress, avoid, escape but at some point grief will come to the surface, therefore, don’t shy away from grief.  Even scheduling moments in your day or week to acknowledge the pain of death and the hope we have in Jesus can be helpful. 
  5. Don’t try to go through grief alone. You don’t have to open your heart and mind to everyone but it is good to have a few trusted friends who will weep with you in grief.  We need godly friends who will acknowledge our pain and remind us of the hope we have in Jesus. 
  6. You can get trapped in grief. Grief is alluring.  There is something attractive about giving ourselves over to sadness, therefore, we want to always invite Jesus into our grief.  Jesus cares about our grief.  Jesus is familiar with grief and sorrow. Jesus has overcome grief, therefore, we want to grieve with Jesus. 
  7. Learn from your loss. Going through the loss of a friend or family member is difficult, but there are valuable lessons.  Have you prepared necessary legal documents? The investment in a notarized will is essential.  Have you communicated to your spouse about financial details?  Have you had important conversations?  Every day matters.  Going through grief can help us appreciate every day and make the most of those opportunities.  

Most of all, I have found rekindling our relationship with the Lord in the midst of grief can be the most difficult.  When we experience emotional pain or loss it often touches us in the deepest part of our soul, which is many times set apart only for the Lord.  

Before grief there is this deep part of our soul where only the Lord had ventured but in grief there is a pain that breaks into our soul, so that we might find it difficult to distinguish between grief and the Lord.

It’s okay.  We don’t have to rush back to that place but we do want to build a process of restoring those parts of our faith.  It may take time, but if we take intentional steps, we can definitely get there.