Our sexuality is one of those topics that people don’t like to talk about. People will talk about it socially, medically, scientifically, but we tend not to talk about it in our marriages and especially in the church. As a result we are left with a completely negative connotation. If we avoid talking about it we will ultimately create our own conclusions and instead of creating our own conclusions we want to look to Scripture.
1. Created by God: Scripture teaches us our sexuality was created by God to be a good thing. There are some who will teach that sex is a bad thing and that it shouldn’t be talked about. They will teach that our sexuality exists only for procreation. We shouldn’t enjoy sex at any level. Those people are weird. This mentality results from a duality of the physical and spiritual and because our sexuality is physical, therefore, it is dark, shameful, dirty, nasty, and not talked about. This can trickle into our marriages and as a result leads to couples who are embarrassed to talk about their sex lives. However, Scripture teaches us something different:
Proverbs 5, “Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love.”
Solomon 1, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth for your love is more delightful than wine.”
Genesis 1, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it…”
Genesis 2, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
Scripture describes our sexuality as a good thing and ultimately that our sexuality is a divine creation of God.
2. Takes place within marriage: Genesis 2 describes husband and wife cleaving to one another and becoming one flesh in marriage. Our sexuality is to take place within marriage. Ed Wheat who wrote the book Intended for Pleasure describes the purpose of sex in marriage is to continually recreate the intimacy and tenderness in the relationship. However, if we have an unhealthy view of our sexuality it is going to hinder the intimacy in our relationships.
Some have described sex like a fire in a fireplace. As long as that fire stays in the fireplace it is a place of heat, light, warmth for the family, however, if you take it outside the fireplace it is dangerous and destructive. When it takes place outside of marriage is when it will result in shame, guilt, and embarrassment, but in marriage it is awesome. Within marriage sexuality can be some of the most spiritual things we take part in as a married couple.
3. An act of service: Our sexuality is an act of service between a husband and wife. It is a way to serve your spouse. Now this is a serving team that I can get excited about!
1 Corinthians 7, “3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.”
When you get married the two become one and you give your body to your spouse as an act of service and meeting physical needs. It isn’t out of abuse, it isn’t against the other one’s will, but when both spouses enter into it thinking of how to please and serve, not yourself, but the other one. This is a honey-do-list that any husband is going to get really excited about.