Tag Archives: leadership

The Leadership Divide: Why Some People Rise and Others Stay Frustrated

Leadership isn’t a title or a personality type. It’s a pattern. It’s an outlook. Essentially, leadership is a choice. Every day, people are quietly sorting themselves into one of two groups: those who rise and those who stay frustrated. And the differences rarely comes down to talent. More often it’s the invisible stuff; attitude, behavior, and the stories people tell themselves. Here are some observations to consider:

1. Mindset: Victor or Victim?

Every leader I’ve ever watched up close lives with this internal rule, “I’m responsible for my direction and outcomes.” Successful people assume agency. They walk into the room asking, “What can I do? What can I learn? What’s the opportunity?”

Frustrated people walk in asking, “Why is this happening to me? Who’s blocking me? Why doesn’t anything change?” One outlook sees problems as puzzles. The other group sees problems as punishments.

It’s not that one group avoids difficulty; it’s that they refuse to build an identity around it. Victimhood becomes a mental treadmill with lots of movement, but little to no progress.

2. Attitude: It has more influence than we want to acknowledge.

If you want to know where someone is heading, listen to how they talk when they’re not performing. Successful people talk about ideas. They talk about what they’re testing, what they’re building, what they’re stretching toward. When conversations drift, they redirect toward meaning, improvement, or the future.

Frustrated people talk about people. They complain, compare, critique, and repeat their favorite discouragements like they’re reading off a teleprompter. It’s a harder rut to get out of than we want to acknowledge.

Leadership is simply this: Are your conversations moving your life forward and toward meaning or keeping you exactly where you are?

3. Free Time: What do we do for fun?

There’s a clear divide in habits. Sure, it’s great to lay around and relax but we sleep 8-hours. We work 8-hours. What do we do with the other 8-hours?

Some people work out.
Some people work angles.
Some people work on relationships.

And some people work themselves into mental exhaustion scrolling, binging, and consuming hours of content that makes them feel productive but changes nothing. The most frustrated people I meet spend their free time consuming news or Netflix while envying the lives of people who use their free time building something. They don’t actually want information. They want emotional relief.

Disaster headlines help them feel less behind. I get it. World wide news makes us feel involved in a world we aren’t participating in, but really it’s just an echo chamber disguised as education.

4. Words: What do we talk about?

Some people talk about improving the quality of their lives; discipline, habits, clarity, financial margins, purpose. Others talk about politics and celebrities. I get it. It’s fun to talk about, but at the end of the day why are we giving the best we have to offer to people we will never meet or influence.

It doesn’t mean politics and celebrities don’t matter. They are just safe. They allow us to drift because these are people that don’t require anything from us personally. People can argue passionately about elections, pop culture, and conspiracy theories, and those things can be fun for moments, but the real meat of life is going to be found in building into ourselves and others.

5. The Relationship to Time: Future vs Past

Successful people honor the past but don’t live there. This one is a tough for me, because I love nostalgia. I love thinking about the “good old days.” But, honestly, the old days weren’t that great. I am just zeroing in on a select few days.

Frustrated people rehearse what went wrong, who hurt them, and why everything “used to be better.” The anchor of the past becomes the excuse to avoid the present. But leadership is the ability to look backward with gratitude and look forward to opportunities.

6. Family: A Place to Grow or a Place to Blame

Here’s a surprising divide: Some people treat family as a gift; messy, imperfect, demanding, but deeply meaningful. Others see family as oppressive, something holding them back from who they could be “if only.”

The truth is, both views reveal more about a person’s mindset than their circumstances. People who treat family as a burden often treat everything as a burden. People who treat family as formation learn to carry responsibility with strength, not resentment. No family experience is perfect. But it becomes either a catalyst for growth or a convenient excuse to blame others.

So What’s the Point?

Leadership isn’t about charisma or being in control. Leadership is deciding which side of this divide you want to live on:

• Will your attitude shape your life, or will your life shape your attitude?
• Will your behavior reflect your goals, or your impulses reflect your behavior?
• Will your conversations elevate you or will you elevate conversations?
• Will you live in the past or learn from the past to dream about the future?
• Will family be part of your strength or part of your story of limitation?

The gap between successful and frustrated people is rarely dramatic. It’s usually a series of tiny, daily decisions. And every one of them is available to you.

Gospel

It’s possible a person could read this article and be filled with anger or arrogance. Filled with anger, because you feel judged and beat up by the language. Or filled with arrogance because you feel accomplished by the language. Neither one is the gospel.

The gospel is that we all feel weighed down by life. We all encounter challenges, and if we are honest, the challenges of life are suffocating. Perhaps you have experienced those challenges yet, but at some point health challenges will come, loss will come, career set backs will come, and in many ways, all those challenges are layers of God’s grace calling us back to Himself.

He is the only One who can carry that weight, therefore, He calls out to all who will hear, “Come to Me and you will find rest.” It is a rest that allows us to look at the challenges in life and lean into them. Not through our strength, but because we are cradled in the hands of the One who will carry us to the end.

Embrace Ownership at North Village Church: A Guide

Owning the vision of North Village Church makes all the difference! Owning the vision means every person sees the church’s purpose as their personal responsibility, not just a support system for someone else’s vision.

What does it look like to develop an “owners’ mindset?”

What’s the Difference?

Helper Mindset	Owner Mindset
“Let me know what you need.”	“Here’s something I can do to move us forward.”
“That’s pastor’s / staff’s job.”	“This is our mission—and I’ve got a role in it.”
“I help when it works for me.”	“I show up with consistency and commitment.”
“I’m here to receive.”	“I’m here to invest—my time, energy, and heart.”
“I notice problems.”	“I bring solutions with grace and initiative.”
“This is a church.”	“This is my church.”

How to Live as an Owner

1. Show Up Like It’s Your Living Room

Welcome others like you’re hosting them in your own space. Look for the new. Smile. Initiate.

2. Speak Life and Vision

Talk about the church like it’s yours. Encourage others. Protect the unity. Avoid gossip.

3. Take Ownership of Your Spiritual Growth

Don’t wait to be spoon-fed. Dig into Scripture. Ask questions. Be discipled, and disciple others.

4. Pitch In Without Needing a Title

See a problem? Fix a problem. Owners take initiative, whether it’s picking up trash or praying for someone.

5. Pray Boldly for the Vision

Learn the vision. Own the vision. Pray as someone who’s locked in, not locked out. Ask God to move through us, not just some people.

Reflection Questions

What would change if I saw this church as my responsibility?
Where am I waiting for permission instead of walking in purpose?
Who am I intentionally building up here?
What do I bring to the mission God has given us?

Leadership: Law of Influence

Maxwell’s definition for the Law of Influence is that “the true measure of leadership is influence nothing more, nothing less.” Ask yourself, “Who are you influencing?” It starts with self, spouse, children, extended family, co-workers, neighbors, family, etc. And what are we influencing people toward?

Leadership is often misunderstood. Here are the top 5 myths people tend to believe:

The Management Myth – Leading and managing is NOT the same! Management focuses on maintaining systems and processes. Leadership is about moving people in the right direction.
The Entrepreneur Myth – Not all entrepreneurs are good with people. If you can’t influence people, you can’t lead.
The Knowledge Myth – Just visit any university and you will find people with a high IQ or countless titles, but with an extremely low leadership level. Leadership has nothing to do with education or IQ.
The Pioneer Myth – Some believe that anyone who is out in front of the crowd is a leader. But being first isn’t always the same as leading. To be a leader, you must not just be at the front, but also have people intentionally coming behind you, following your lead and acting on your vision.
The Position Myth – As Stanley Huffty said, ‘It’s not the position that makes the leader; it’s the leader that makes the position.’ You don’t need a position to lead. And even if somebody takes away your position, they can’t take away your influence over the lives of those who follow you.

When it comes to identifying a real leader… don’t listen to the claims of the person professing to be the leader. Don’t examine his or her credentials. Don’t check their title. Check their influence. The proof of leadership is found in the followers.” He ends the chapter with a famous leadership proverb, “He who thinks he leads, but has no followers, is only taking a walk.”

There are 7 major areas you must look into to evaluate your leadership influence:

Don’t Wait for Titles: You don’t need to be in charge to influence. Imagine the person who shows up to work with a bad attitude. Are they influencing? Of course! Imagine the neighbor who goes above and beyond, not because they are on the Neighborhood Watch, but because they care about their neighborhood. Everyone loves living next to those types of neighbors.
Character: If you want to increase your leadership level, you MUST focus on character. The more consistency we have between our private life and our public life, the greater potential for influence.
Take Inventory: The more clarity we have in our spheres of influence the more likely we are to take advantage of those influencing opportunities.
Knowledge: Information is vital to a leader. Even though knowledge won’t make you a leader (see The Knowledge Myth above), it’s necessary if you want to become a great leader. Do your homework, spend time to get to know your industry, your environment, your team, your clients, as you try to lead.
Experience: When opportunities arise, say, “Yes!” Just like knowledge, experience isn’t everything but experience doesn’t hurt. The more time you have in the battle the stronger you will get in your influence.
Competency: Just like knowledge and experience, competency doesn’t determine influence but executing on objectives is going to only strengthen your potential for influence.

In the end, our greatest source of influence is through the power of the Holy Spirit. Through faith in Jesus we are reconciled to God and empowered through the Spirit to bring incredible influence into the lives of others.

Sometimes we don’t even have to say a word! Sometimes just our mere presence will bring influence toward others and it isn’t because of our knowledge, experience or character but because the grace of God moves in us and through us for His glory!

Serving North Central Austin