Tag Archives: worship

Breaking the Myth of Perfect Parenting

My wife and I have worked in pastoral ministry for over 20-years. My wife has worked in personal counseling as a Licensed Professional Counselor for 10 of those years. A common theme in parenting we have noticed is that the pressure of parenting is at an all time high. That’s why I am so excited to read the book, “The Myth of Good Christian Parenting” by Burt and McGinnis coming out in October 2025.

If you’ve been a Christian parent for more than a week, you’ve probably felt the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure that if you “do it right,” your kids will turn out to be your definition of perfect little saints.

The Myth of Good Christian Parenting confronts that pressure head-on. The central premise is simple but liberating: There is no magic formula for raising “perfect” Christian kids. You can pray with them, take them to church, memorize Scripture together, and still, they may choose their own path, sometimes far from God.

That’s not a sign you failed. It’s a reminder that parenting is about faithfulness, not control. God calls us to be stewards, not puppet-masters.

Why This Matters:

As a pastor in Austin for 15 years, I’ve sat across from countless parents in my office who were quietly drowning in shame. Their adult child wasn’t walking with Jesus, and they thought it was entirely their fault. This book helps dismantle that lie.

It offers a theological reset:

God is the perfect Father—and even His kids rebelled.
Your calling is obedience, not outcome.
The Holy Spirit does the transforming work, not your parenting techniques.

Caution:

It’s possible someone could read this book and it could evoke bitterness or anger at people or resources who painted a picture of “follow these steps” with “guaranteed results.” But I would caution the reader to tread lightly in this area.

Every parent I have ever met tends to have rose-tinted glasses toward their children. Parents tend to hear what parents want to hear about any resource. The allure of finding the “secret” to parenting is a strong temptation to anyone because we love our children so much and we find great comfort in thinking our approach toward parenting is going to “work.”
Parents also tend to be reactionary. I have found, in my life and others, the majority of parental motivation is “giving our children what we didn’t receive.” It’s an admirable goal. The only problem, the hearts and mind of our children might have completely different needs than us!
Parenting styles aren’t cookie-cutter. What worked for one family might not work for another family. What worked for one child, might be the worst thing for another child. It doesn’t mean parenting is doomed to fail, but it does mean we should layer our attitude toward parenting with more generosity.
Wallow in forgiveness. Instead of wallowing in bitterness, extend forgiveness. Instead of pointing the finger, remember there’s no perfect solution other than Christ! Instead of storing up wrath, remember the Lord gave us the exact parent, child and resources at the time for our good and His glory!
Be careful not to get too excited or too discouraged about parenting. That child or parent might be doing “great” right now or “struggling” right now but in 10-years or 20-years, it might look completely different. I have seen people’s lives change for the glory of Jesus in moments, and I have seen people walk away from Jesus after decades of getting everything they wanted. Our hope is that when we are in Christ, one day we will be raised in glory. Everything else is just ups and downs for a “little while.”
Be on guard against giving up as a parent. The attitude of a parent saying “I don’t want to influence my children” might feel warm and cozy, but it is a cop out. Everything and everyone in the world is trying to engage our children, why not the people who love them the most. This doesn’t mean a parent should try to control their children, but they should definitely step into their role as a parent and try to intentionally speak into their life.
The majority of children are going to get punched in the face with their failures and flaws as they enter into adulthood. The easiest thing for them to do is point the finger at parents, because it feels like, “If they would have done this, I wouldn’t struggle with that.” It can be my parents were too involved, I felt smothered. But it can also be my parents weren’t involved, I felt like they didn’t care. Life is hard. The only perfect place to point our heart and the hearts of our children is Jesus.
Take heart! If you are parenting little ones today, there is likely a challenge coming for our children that we aren’t even aware of as parents. We have no idea what it is like to be those children. We have no idea what it is like to interpret the information they are receiving. How could any parent perfectly speak into the hearts and minds of children 10-years into the future? Therefore, our only hope is that Jesus will speak into our heart and the hearts of our children! Let’s turn our hearts and minds to rest in Him!

If you found any of this helpful, I wrote a quick encouragement in a previous post “Essential Truths for Struggling Parents.” Read through it as you have time! Other than that, remember that children and parents are just people.

Why Do We Sing the Song “Joy to the World?”

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns, let men their songs employ, while fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains, repeat the sounding joy, repeat the sounding joy, repeat, repeat the sounding joy

He rules the world with truth and grace, and makes the nations prove, the glories of His righteousness, and wonders of His love, and wonders of His love, and wonders and wonders of His, His love 

“Joy to the World” was written by Isaac Watts who was born in 1674 in Southampton, England. He wrote over 750 hymns including, “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross, This is the Day the Lord Has Made, and Sin Has a Thousand Treacherous Arts.”

Watts was actually bleeding edge in his time. As a teenager he would always complain about the music and the lack of participation from the people. So, his father challenged him to do something. The following week he wrote, “Behold the Glories of the Lamb” and the people began to engage in the worship as he involved an emotional and theological influence in the worship. Isn’t that fascinating?

Today, “Joy to the World” is the most published Christmas song to date, but until we see the theological truths layered in the song I think we are missing out. Let’s look at Romans 8 to see where this song comes from.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

In the context of the passage, verse tells us there is new life in Jesus, there is victory in Jesus, there is freedom from sin, life-changing transformation that is glorious, but in verse 18 it also says, “There is suffering.”

It means there are people all over the world who are enjoying friends and family, having fun, enjoying rest and seeing God do great things in their life, but there are also some people all over the world who are suffering.

How can we sing a song called “Joy to the World” when we are surrounded by suffering? Verse 18 speaks of “glory that is to be revealed.”

This is why the song says, “Joy to the world, let earth receive her king, let heaven and nature sing, let men their songs employ, while fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains, repeat the sounding joy.”

This song isn’t just about fuzzy, warm moments around the holidays. The song is about a baby that has come as king, lives a perfect life, takes all sin upon Himself, so that in Him, through faith, we are set free into the freedom of glory that will permeate every part of creation.

But how does the hope of His glory lead to joy? Imagine you are going to put two people in two rooms and give them identical tasks that are menial, boring, and difficult manual labor. You tell them both, “You are going to work 40-hours a week, for 12-months, and no vacations. It is going to be boring. It is going to be tedious, and it is going to be really hard.

To the first person you say, “At the end of the 12-months you will get an annual salary of $12,000.” To the second person you say, “At the end of the 12-months you will get an annual salary of $12 Million.”

The first person is going to go at it for about 3-4 weeks and say, “I quit. This is too hard. This is driving me crazy.” But, the other person is going to say, “Done! Not a problem, 12-months, are you kidding and whistling the whole day, every day, at work.” Why? The tedious trial is being overshadowed by the glory that is to be revealed.

God’s Word teaches us, “We might get to live on this planet for 80+ years, and while we are here we will encounter suffering. There are going to be hard days, but in verse 18 we see, “These hard days are nothing compared to the glory that is to be revealed.”

Where is your joy? Is it in romantic relationships that come and go? Is your joy in the economy that is up and down? Is your joy in how others perceive you? What torture!

God’s Word invites us to put our joy in Jesus. Jesus is the One who is full of power. Jesus is the One who has come to call you His. Jesus is the One who will return again to make all things new.

This is why Isaac Watts writes down the words, “Joy to the World.” It isn’t just what happens at the incarnation, it isn’t just the resurrection, it isn’t just the sanctification, but soon there is coming our glorification for the whole universe.

Serving North Central Austin