I met Jesus when I was 18 years old.  I am 36 today.  I am 50/50 in life with Jesus and life without Jesus.  Recently I was reading a book called Humility by C.J. Mahaney and reflecting on the last 18 years.  I know there is a whirlwind of spiritual activity in our life when it comes to the works of the Holy Spirit, but when I look back on my relationship with Jesus I noticed there are a number of different attractions to Jesus throughout my life.

The first attraction was stability.  I was 18 years old.  A season of life that contains a lot of transition.  I had been raised to be independent and at an early age and I felt a lack of stability.  I wondered if Jesus could bring that stability.  What if He was real?  What if He was true?  It was a blind leap for me, but I kept coming back to, “What if?”  It was those two words that radically changed the rest of my life.

As I continued to mature spiritually I was drawn to Jesus because of the character He would bring into my life.  I could learn responsibility.  I could mature.  I could have discipline.  I was in my early 20’s and my life felt like an endless roller coaster.  I saw other men in my life that had a relationship with Jesus and I was impressed by their character.  I wondered, “What if I could have that type of character?”

As I continued into my mid 20’s my attraction to Jesus continued to evolve.  I had experienced some stability, some character; not a lot, but some.  I began to become attracted to Jesus because of leadership and influence. I saw that there were truths in Scripture that were beneficial to the lives of other people and if I could communicate those truths it could lead to leadership and influence.

In my late 20’s I saw my attraction to Jesus drifting toward purpose.  It was in Jesus that I could find purpose and meaning.  It would shape my life, my marriage, my children, and it lined up with Jesus.  It didn’t mean I was set on becoming a pastor one day, but that no matter what I did for a living I wanted to have the same purpose as Jesus.

Today, 18 years later I find that what attracts me to Jesus is Jesus.  I don’t know if any of those other things were right or wrong, but I find that I am more curious about Jesus then I am about purpose, leadership, character, or stability.  I can’t say that I have accomplished those other areas and now I am moving on to the next, but that Jesus seems to hold my interest more than those others qualities. Perhaps before I was just seeing parts of Jesus.  Jesus is stable, has character, leadership, and purpose.  Perhaps I was just seeing parts of Jesus and those qualities were drawing me to Him.  I am not sure.  I do wonder what the next 18 years will bring?  God willing I will be able to continue to learn and reflect.