Tag Archives: jesus

Chapter 2:  Anxiety Is a Yoke Too

Introduction: The Weight You Didn’t Know You Were Carrying

Chapter 1: When Parenting Becomes a Load

When most people think about anxiety, they picture trembling hands, shallow breathing, or emotional panic. It is but the kind of anxiety that shapes family dynamics rarely looks like that. It’s quieter. Subtler. More like a background hum than an alarm.

It shows up as:

  • overthinking
  • mood swings
  • sarcasm
  • withdrawing
  • hypervigilance
  • defensiveness
  • shutting down
  • or the inability to make even simple decisions

Anxiety, at its core, is threat perception. It’s what happens when your internal system scans the world and concludes: “I’m not safe. I’m not ready. Something is wrong.”  For many adult children today, this anxiety didn’t appear suddenly. It accumulated over time. Cultural pressure didn’t help. Social media normalized it. The expectation to “live your truth,” “find your identity,” and “build your personal brand” intensified it.

And for parents, this anxiety often became something they tried to manage. Sometimes unconsciously. But, in the end, anxiety is a yoke.

  • Not the kind Jesus offers.
  • Not a yoke that fits.
  • Not a yoke that shares the burden.
  • But a yoke that constricts.

And if you’ve parented a child into adulthood, you’ve felt the weight of this yoke. Even if you didn’t have language for it; any parent knows the horrible feeling of seeing your child struggle and wanting to fix the problem for them. This doesn’t mean the family is broken.  It means they are human. But over time, anxiety can begin to shape the emotional climate of the home.  

Anxious adult children crave validation because it lowers immediate distress.  Parents will often turn to phrases like, “I get it. That sounds awful. Anyone would feel that way.”  These responses bring quick relief to our children, and in general, those responses can be comforting but prolonged empathy can convey agreement.

When anxiety goes unexamined in the life of the child and / or the parent, the parent will stop guiding and start absorbing. They will feel responsible for the emotional weather in the home. They will adjust to avoid storms. They will over-help to prevent collapse. They will rescue to prevent regret. It makes sense.  It’s human.  But it can also hinder the transfer of the yoke for the child.

In the moment, anxiety might be lowered but in the long run it will only increase anxiety.  It is because in those moments of “helping” it is telling the child “their fears were accurate; their ability is questionable” and they don’t get to grow through the struggle.  

This result confuses parents the most.  How can someone who doesn’t want my help also struggle when things go wrong?  How can someone resist support and also collapse without support?  How can someone be so strong-willed and fragile?

An anxious child may:

  • reject guidance
  • sabotage help
  • hide problems
  • push for autonomy
  • cling to unhealthy relationships
  • collapse behind closed doors

This isn’t rebellion. It’s fear. A yoke they’re trying to carry alone, without the strength to bear it.  This isn’t something a parent can get around in the development of their children.  It’s a normal part of maturity.  

The Yoke of Anxiety and the Yoke of Jesus

Anxious people see the world as something they must manage. Jesus invites them to see the world as something they can walk through with Him. Your child may not articulate this. They may not even believe it. But their anxiety is already telling a spiritual story:

  • “They are alone.”
  • “They must control everything.”
  • “They cannot fail.”
  • “They must protect themselves.”
  • “They can’t trust others.”

When Jesus says, “My yoke is easy,” He’s not promising a soft life. He’s promising shared weight. You are not asking your child to take on religion. You are inviting them to learn how weight is meant to be carried. And before they can learn that, the parent must learn to stop carrying what isn’t theirs to carry. That is a parent’s deepest act of love.

Chapter 2 Action Step:  Name the Anxious Pattern Without Blame

Take ten quiet minutes and answer these three prompts:

  1. In our family, anxiety usually shows up as: (Check all that apply)
  • over-explaining
  • withdrawing
  • shutting down
  • defensiveness
  • mood swings
  • avoiding decisions
  • rescuing others
  • over-helping
  • validating everything
  • walking on eggshells
  • When my adult child becomes anxious, I tend to: (Circle the one that feels most accurate.)
  • fix
  • explain
  • reassure
  • validate
  • back off
  • over-function
  • tiptoe

3. Which of these responses is actually me absorbing their weight?

This is your growth edge, not a place for shame, but for awareness. When you can name the pattern, you can stop fueling it. Because anxiety is a yoke. But it doesn’t have to be the one your family wears forever.

CHAPTER 1:  When Parenting Becomes Load-Bearing

Introduction: The Weight You Didn’t Know You Were Carrying (Introducing the yoke.)

There is a quiet shift that happens in many families, and most parents don’t notice it until it’s already taken hold. Parenting moves from guiding to carrying. At first, that makes sense. Children need parents to carry most of the weight. They can’t regulate emotions, make wise decisions, or anticipate consequences. That’s not failure, that’s development. But somewhere along the way, many parents cross an invisible line. 

Without meaning to, they stop helping their children prepare to carry weight, and start carrying it for them. They become load-bearing. Load-bearing parenting have thoughts like:

  • “If they’re anxious, I must fix it.”
  • “If they’re unhappy, I’ve failed.”
  • “If they struggle, something went wrong.”
  • “If they drift spiritually, I didn’t do enough.”

This isn’t self-pity. It’s fear, wrapped in love. Most parents didn’t choose this consciously. Cultural pressure nudged them there. So, did good intentions. So, did the fear of being blamed for trauma, for anxiety, for failure and for distance.

The message parents absorbed was subtle but powerful: If your child hurts, you’re responsible. But here’s the problem: No human being was meant to carry another adult’s yoke. Read that again and say it out loud, “No human being was meant to carry another adult’s yoke.”

When parents try, two things happen at once. First, parents become exhausted, resentful, or quietly panicked. They feel responsible for outcomes they can’t control. Second, children never learn how to bear weight themselves. They learn how to offload it.

This is why anxiety and fragility can coexist with independence. A person may resist guidance fiercely while still needing someone else to stabilize them emotionally. Autonomy on the outside. Dependence underneath.

That’s not hypocrisy. That’s confusion about where weight belongs. Adulthood requires weight. Decisions. Consequences. Delayed gratification. Emotional regulation. Responsibility for one’s body, time, money, relationships, and beliefs. Weight is unavoidable!  

But sometimes in parenting there is a tug-a-war taking place between the child and the parent where the “weight of life” can be delayed too long.  When this happen adulthood won’t feel inviting but threatening.  Parents often sense this intuitively. They worry their child isn’t ready.  They might even encourage some steps, but instead of helping them prepare to carry weight, they lessen it or remove it, hoping readiness will magically appear later.

It doesn’t. Weight trains capacity. Struggle develops strength. Responsibility clarifies identity. This doesn’t mean parents should be cold, distant, or indifferent. It means love must mature for the child to learn to carry this weight.

That transition is one of the hardest shifts a parent will ever make. Because it feels like loss. It feels like stepping back when everything in you wants to step in. It feels like trust when certainty is gone. It feels like faith, because it is.

Jesus never promised to remove the yoke of adulthood. He promised to be present within it. That distinction changes everything. If parents believe the goal is to eliminate struggle, they will panic when it appears.

If parents believe the goal is formation, they will stay steady when struggle comes.

The weight your child is carrying may not be evidence of failure. It may be evidence that adulthood has begun.

The question is not whether they will carry weight. The question is whether they will learn to carry it alone, under anxiety, under pressure, under false expectations, or alongside the One who knows how weight is meant to be borne. And whether parents will have the courage to stop carrying what was never meant to be theirs.

Chapter 1 Action Step:  Identify the Weight You’re Carrying

This chapter isn’t asking you to change your parenting. It’s asking you to notice what you’ve been carrying without realizing it. Set aside ten quiet minutes. No phone. No problem-solving.

On a piece of paper, complete this sentence as honestly as you can: “If my child struggles with _____________________________________, I feel personally responsible.”

Don’t explain your answers. Don’t defend them. Just list them.

Common answers include:

  • anxiety
  • faith
  • finances
  • relationships
  • emotional stability
  • motivation
  • happiness
  • direction

Now circle anything on your list that involves another adult’s internal life.  It can be their emotions, beliefs, or identity. Those are likely weights you were never meant to carry.

Finally, answer one last question in a single sentence: “What am I afraid would happen if I stopped carrying this?” 

You don’t need to resolve that fear yet. You just need to name it. Because before weight can be transferred, it has to be recognized.

INTRODUCTION:  The Weight You Didn’t Know You Were Carrying

Most parents don’t say, “I feel crushed.” They say things like, “I’m exhausted,” “I’m confused,” or “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.” They say it quietly. Often privately. Sometimes with shame.

Because parenting today doesn’t look brutal. It looks informed. Intentional. Well-resourced. Educated. We read the books. We listened to the experts. We adjusted. We validated. We stayed emotionally present. We tried not to repeat the mistakes of our parents.

And yet, somewhere along the way, it began to feel heavy. Not the normal tiredness of raising kids. Not the stress of busy schedules. But a deeper weight. A kind of responsibility that presses on your chest when your adult child struggles, pulls away, makes choices you don’t understand, or seems fragile in a world that doesn’t slow down for anyone.

That weight has a name. It’s a yoke. A yoke is what you put on something meant to carry weight. It’s not a punishment. It’s a tool. It distributes load, sets direction, and makes forward movement possible.

For most modern readers, the word yoke sounds abstract, religious, symbolic, even quaint. But for most of human history, it wasn’t a metaphor at all. It was a piece of equipment you saw every day.

A yoke was a wooden beam, shaped carefully and fitted deliberately, placed across the shoulders or necks of working animals. It connected them to a plow or a cart, and often to each other. Without it, heavy work couldn’t happen. With it, weight became manageable.

In agricultural societies, yokes were familiar objects. People knew how they felt. They knew what happened when a yoke was too heavy, poorly fitted, or placed on an animal that wasn’t ready.

An ill-fitting yoke rubbed raw. A yoke taken on too early injured the animal. A yoke carried alone exhausted it. But a well-made yoke, one shaped to the animal and shared with a stronger partner, allowed steady, sustainable work. Not fast. Not flashy. But faithful.

That’s why yokes were introduced gradually. Young animals weren’t yoked immediately. They were often paired with an older, stronger animal who set the pace, absorbed uneven strain, and kept the direction straight. The younger one learned by walking alongside, not by being spared the work, but by being guided through it.

This matters, because when Jesus used the word yoke, His listeners didn’t hear poetry. They heard practicality. They thought of sore shoulders. They thought of long days. They thought of work that shaped a life. They also knew the difference between a harsh yoke and a gentle one.

So, when Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you,” He wasn’t offering escape. He was offering apprenticeship. It was an invitation to walk with me. Match my pace. Let me carry the strain you can’t yet handle. Learn how weight is meant to be borne.

That’s why the promise of rest came after the yoke, not instead of it. Rest wasn’t the absence of responsibility. It was the presence of the right partner. When we forget this, we begin to imagine that love means removing all weight, and faith means avoiding struggle. But for most of history, people knew better. They knew that life without weight doesn’t produce freedom, it produces fragility. And they knew that the goal wasn’t to eliminate the yoke, but to choose the right one.

After all, every adult carries something. The question is never whether there will be a yoke, but which one, and with whom. Most parents don’t realize this, but much of modern parenting quietly trained us to carry yokes that were never meant to be ours.

We learned to carry: our children’s emotional regulation, their sense of safety, their confidence, their outcomes, sometimes even their faith. And when adulthood arrived, when weight was supposed to transfer, we panicked. Not because we didn’t love our children, but because we weren’t sure what it meant to let them carry anything without abandoning them.

So, we hovered. Or rescued. Or validated every feeling. Or absorbed their anxiety as our own. Or oscillated between control and withdrawal. All of that is understandable. But none of it is sustainable.

Jesus once said something curious to people who were exhausted, burdened, and spiritually suspicious: “Come to me, all who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

That line is often misunderstood. Jesus wasn’t offering a weightless life. He was offering a different way of carrying weight. This book is not about parenting techniques.
It’s about re-learning how weight, responsibility, love, anxiety, adulthood, and faith actually work. Because parenting breaks down when parents try to carry a yoke that was never theirs, and children never learn how to carry one at all.

Sharing Meals with Friends

The current image has no alternative text. The file name is: pexels-photo-5718067.jpeg

Meals are one of the simplest ways to make space for connection.  Something happens around a table that rarely happens in hallways, lobbies, or text threads.  And it’s all taking place while we get to eat food!  

Eating food is great.  Eating food with others is even better!  There’s something disarming about sharing a meal with someone.  Food is an immediate conversation starter.  What do you like?  Where do you go?  What are you getting?  

We live fast paced, isolated lives.  Sharing a meal with someone is a small way to bring heaven on earth!  It is a time to slow down, open up, and allow others into the interior of our lives.  

Scripture doesn’t treat meals as background noise. God consistently uses tables to gather, teach, and reveal Himself.  In the book of Exodus, we see the importance of a meal marking out the rescue Israel experienced from enslavement in Egypt.  It is a meal that is still celebrated till this day by the Jewish community, and it all revolves around food. 

In the life of Jesus, we see multiple examples of Jesus sitting down to share a meal with others.  It could have been at the wedding, in a home, or with the disciples, but it was a consistent pattern in the life of Jesus to share meals with others. 

In addition, throughout the New Testament we see God’s Word calling followers of Jesus to practice hospitality with one another.  It is enjoying the relationships in our lives and being open to new relationships.  

Sharing a meal makes it easy to transition into questions and conversations about what’s going on in other areas of life.  Can you imagine sitting across from someone and asking them about their day without food?  It would feel like an interview!  But add some chips and salsa and now everything changes.  It’s the magic of food!  

Sometimes we can get uncomfortable about inviting people into our home because we feel like our home isn’t big enough, nice enough, or let’s be honest, clean enough!  But you don’t need to be married with two kids and a 2,000 SQFT house to share a meal with someone.  This is something anyone can do!

An easy place to start sharing a meal with someone is our family.  It could be our parents, our children, or distant family members.  It might be a little more challenging if our children are younger, but really, it’s just a matter of training our children to engage in conversation.  When our children were younger we wouldn’t ask, “How was your day?”  We would ask, “What was the funniest thing that happened today?”  Sometimes, when we dropped them off at school we would even say, “Be on the lookout for the funniest thing today!”

As our children got older we would ask more complicated questions like, “Did you meet anyone new today?”  What was the hardest part of your day?  Where did you see God’s grace at work in your life today?  What are you thankful for today?

When we are connecting with friends from work or church it is great to ask questions like, “Where did you grow up?”  Do you have any siblings?  Do you get to see your family often?  What brought you to this city?  

I call them “Go 2 Questions.”  I wish I was the person that was great at being present in every situation and could ask questions off the top of my head, but I need a road-map.  I try to come up with 4-5 questions around every meal to help guide the conversation.  I might not get through all the questions.  I am hoping for questions to branch out as we get started, but it helps to calm my nerves to have a conversation map to follow.  

When we are connecting with older adults in our family it is easy to drift toward questions like, “Are you okay?”  Do you need anything?  Those questions are important, but I find it enjoyable to talk about their areas of interest, what’s shaped them over the years, or stories of how they grew up.  The delight you see in their face when their eyes light up with an opportunity to talk about a heartfelt memory.  It’s a lot of fun! 

The best part of getting to know someone over a meal is that you get a 10,000-foot view of someone’s life.  It would be impossible for someone to share their whole story, but in those moments, you get to see how God’s hand is moving over the life of someone.  It’s pretty special!  

After sharing a meal with someone it is great to write down any key events or details that were shared so you can pray for those people.  It can be something simple like, “Job, doctor visit, personal goal, etc.”  It is a great way to start building deeper friendships with others.  

Try one intentional meal this week!  Take a moment and prayerfully consider friends and family in your life.  You can start with a family member, or you can grab lunch with a co-worker.  The key is to begin the spiritual discipline of building new relationships in your life for His glory! 

Finding Freedom in Submission: Lessons from 1 Peter 2

We live in a time when the word authority feels like a bad word. Whether it’s government, corporations, or even churches, trust has eroded. Many people wonder, “Should we really be listening to these institutions anymore?”

Our culture celebrates resistance. We love movies like The Hunger Games or V for Vendetta, and songs like This Is America. They resonate because we all feel the pull to push back. So when the Bible tells us to “submit to every human institution” (1 Peter 2:13), it can sound outdated or even offensive. But Peter’s words are far from irrelevant. They’re revolutionary!

Why Submission Still Matters

Peter wrote these words under the rule of Emperor Nero, one of history’s most oppressive leaders. He had seen Jesus crucified under an unjust government and had been imprisoned himself. Yet, he still calls believers to submit. Why?

Because biblical submission isn’t weakness. It’s order. The word literally means “to arrange under.” It’s about choosing, by faith, to live within the structure God has established for human life.

Think about it:

  • Musicians submit to musical theory to create harmony.
  • Athletes submit to rules so the game makes sense.
  • Drivers submit to traffic laws so we can all get home safely.

Submission doesn’t destroy freedom, it creates peace.

The Limits of Submission

Of course, the Bible never calls us to blind obedience. Scripture is clear: submission should never lead to sin or go against God’s Word. No authority is perfect except Jesus. Still, God uses authority to bring order to a chaotic world. Romans 13 reminds us that “all authority is established by God,” even when those in authority are flawed.

That truth is hard to swallow when leaders fail, bosses take advantage, or systems feel unjust. But Peter offers perspective: we don’t submit because they’re perfect. We submit because He is worthy.

That’s why God’s Word introduces the idea of a “bond-slave.”  A “bond-slave” was a man or woman who willingly committed themselves to the estate out of loyalty and commitment to the estate.  

This might not resonate with us as Americans because we don’t think of ourselves as slaves.  We’re American.  We’re free!  But not really!  We have to make money.  We have to pay taxes.  We have to wear clothes.  We have social expectations to shake hands, greet one another.  

And within each of those areas there’s 100 different opinions about where you make money, how you make money, what you do with that money, and where you live, what brands you buy, and what kind of car you drive.  It’s exhausting!

But, Jesus has come to set us free!  Through faith in Jesus we don’t have 1,000 masters.  We have One master!  And we don’t follow out of compulsion, but willingly, so that biblical submission doesn’t seek to remove freedom but bring freedom.

When we experience conflict in friendship, we only have One Master to answer. When our family is experiencing challenging conversations around politics, we only have One Master to be concerned. When we find ourselves involved in difficult topics like immigration we see God’s Word providing direction on how to navigate those conversations.

The Freedom of Surrender

Peter closes with this reminder: “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross… by His wounds you were healed” (2:24). True freedom doesn’t come from rejecting authority, it comes from submitting to the right One. Jesus frees us from the tyranny of 1,000 masters (money, success, approval) so we can serve one Great Shepherd.

Living as People of Peace

The easiest thing today is to be cynical. It’s easy to point out what’s wrong and walk away. But what if the Holy Spirit is showing you what’s broken as an invitation to help fix it? What if instead of complaining, we planted seeds of trust, faith, and service?

Like a farmer who keeps planting through storms, we keep doing good, trusting that in due time, God will bring a harvest. Because submission, in the end, isn’t about losing control. It’s about gaining peace.


“Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.”
— 1 Peter 2:17

Breaking the Myth of Perfect Parenting

My wife and I have worked in pastoral ministry for over 20-years.  My wife has worked in personal counseling as a Licensed Professional Counselor for 10 of those years.  A common theme in parenting we have noticed is that the pressure of parenting is at an all time high. That’s why I am so excited to read the book, “The Myth of Good Christian Parenting” by Burt and McGinnis coming out in October 2025.

If you’ve been a Christian parent for more than a week, you’ve probably felt the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure that if you “do it right,” your kids will turn out to be your definition of perfect little saints.

The Myth of Good Christian Parenting confronts that pressure head-on. The central premise is simple but liberating: There is no magic formula for raising “perfect” Christian kids. You can pray with them, take them to church, memorize Scripture together, and still, they may choose their own path, sometimes far from God.

That’s not a sign you failed. It’s a reminder that parenting is about faithfulness, not control. God calls us to be stewards, not puppet-masters.

Why This Matters:

As a pastor in Austin for 15 years, I’ve sat across from countless parents in my office who were quietly drowning in shame. Their adult child wasn’t walking with Jesus, and they thought it was entirely their fault. This book helps dismantle that lie.

It offers a theological reset:

  • God is the perfect Father—and even His kids rebelled.
  • Your calling is obedience, not outcome.
  • The Holy Spirit does the transforming work, not your parenting techniques.

Caution:

It’s possible someone could read this book and it could evoke bitterness or anger at people or resources who painted a picture of “follow these steps” with “guaranteed results.” But I would caution the reader to tread lightly in this area.

  1. Every parent I have ever met tends to have rose-tinted glasses toward their children. Parents tend to hear what parents want to hear about any resource. The allure of finding the “secret” to parenting is a strong temptation to anyone because we love our children so much and we find great comfort in thinking our approach toward parenting is going to “work.”
  2. Parents also tend to be reactionary. I have found, in my life and others, the majority of parental motivation is “giving our children what we didn’t receive.” It’s an admirable goal. The only problem, the hearts and mind of our children might have completely different needs than us!
  3. Parenting styles aren’t cookie-cutter. What worked for one family might not work for another family. What worked for one child, might be the worst thing for another child. It doesn’t mean parenting is doomed to fail, but it does mean we should layer our attitude toward parenting with more generosity.
  4. Wallow in forgiveness. Instead of wallowing in bitterness, extend forgiveness. Instead of pointing the finger, remember there’s no perfect solution other than Christ! Instead of storing up wrath, remember the Lord gave us the exact parent, child and resources at the time for our good and His glory!
  5. Be careful not to get too excited or too discouraged about parenting. That child or parent might be doing “great” right now or “struggling” right now but in 10-years or 20-years, it might look completely different. I have seen people’s lives change for the glory of Jesus in moments, and I have seen people walk away from Jesus after decades of getting everything they wanted. Our hope is that when we are in Christ, one day we will be raised in glory. Everything else is just ups and downs for a “little while.”
  6. Be on guard against giving up as a parent. The attitude of a parent saying “I don’t want to influence my children” might feel warm and cozy, but it is a cop out. Everything and everyone in the world is trying to engage our children, why not the people who love them the most. This doesn’t mean a parent should try to control their children, but they should definitely step into their role as a parent and try to intentionally speak into their life.
  7. The majority of children are going to get punched in the face with their failures and flaws as they enter into adulthood. The easiest thing for them to do is point the finger at parents, because it feels like, “If they would have done this, I wouldn’t struggle with that.” It can be my parents were too involved, I felt smothered. But it can also be my parents weren’t involved, I felt like they didn’t care. Life is hard. The only perfect place to point our heart and the hearts of our children is Jesus.
  8. Take heart! If you are parenting little ones today, there is likely a challenge coming for our children that we aren’t even aware of as parents. We have no idea what it is like to be those children. We have no idea what it is like to interpret the information they are receiving. How could any parent perfectly speak into the hearts and minds of children 10-years into the future? Therefore, our only hope is that Jesus will speak into our heart and the hearts of our children! Let’s turn our hearts and minds to rest in Him!

If you found any of this helpful, I wrote a quick encouragement in a previous post “Essential Truths for Struggling Parents.” Read through it as you have time! Other than that, remember that children and parents are just people.

Embrace Ownership at North Village Church: A Guide

Owning the vision of North Village Church makes all the difference!  Owning the vision means every person sees the church’s purpose as their personal responsibility, not just a support system for someone else’s vision.

What does it look like to develop an “owners’ mindset?”

What’s the Difference?

Helper MindsetOwner Mindset
“Let me know what you need.”                  “Here’s something I can do to move us forward.”
“That’s pastor’s / staff’s job.”                  “This is our mission—and I’ve got a role in it.”
“I help when it works for me.”                  “I show up with consistency and commitment.”
“I’m here to receive.”                  “I’m here to invest—my time, energy, and heart.”
“I notice problems.”                  “I bring solutions with grace and initiative.”
“This is a church.”                “This is my church.”

How to Live as an Owner

1.    Show Up Like It’s Your Living Room

Welcome others like you’re hosting them in your own space. Look for the new. Smile. Initiate.

2.    Speak Life and Vision

Talk about the church like it’s yours. Encourage others. Protect the unity. Avoid gossip.

3.    Take Ownership of Your Spiritual Growth

Don’t wait to be spoon-fed. Dig into Scripture. Ask questions. Be discipled, and disciple others.

4.    Pitch In Without Needing a Title

See a problem? Fix a problem. Owners take initiative, whether it’s picking up trash or praying for someone.

5.    Pray Boldly for the Vision

Learn the vision.  Own the vision.  Pray as someone who’s locked in, not locked out. Ask God to move through us, not just some people.


Reflection Questions

  • What would change if I saw this church as my responsibility?
  • Where am I waiting for permission instead of walking in purpose?
  • Who am I intentionally building up here?
  • What do I bring to the mission God has given us?

Engaging in Immigration Conversations with Compassion

What do you do in those moments when you are at work or a family gathering, and someone makes a reference toward a cultural / political event? Fight or flight or freeze? One of those cultural conversations right now is around immigration, and now more than ever we need to be learning how to lean into those conversations instead of avoid.

As a follower of Jesus, immigration isn’t just a political issue, it’s a people issue. It’s also deeply theological. And as someone who believes the gospel shapes every corner of life, including how we talk about borders and belonging—I’ve been asking, How do I speak about immigration in a way that’s faithful to Scripture and neighborly in spirit?

Especially in a place like Austin, a city that prides itself on being inclusive, justice-oriented, and wonderfully weird, the way we engage matters just as much as what we say, therefore, I wanted to provide some encouragement when we find ourselves in those conversations.

Let me offer some reflections on how we can enter this conversation winsomely: with truth, compassion, and humility.

Start with Stories, Not Soundbites

Most people have an immigration story, whether it’s their great-grandparents who came through Ellis Island or a neighbor who crossed a desert last year. Stories have a way of softening walls that data and debate only harden.

I recently met a man whose journey to the U.S. took over a year, and the process for him to get citizenship in the United States took over 10 years! But the real story wasn’t how far he traveled, it was why.

He had been manipulated by people in his country that told him they had created a way for him to get into the country legally, and it was expensive! Him and his family gave them so much money, only to find out the process was to sneak him into the country.

When we begin with real people, we remind everyone that immigration isn’t just a policy issue. It’s a person issue.

Root the Conversation in Shared Values

As a follower of Jesus, I start with this: every person is made in the image of God. That’s non-negotiable. And because of that, I’m called to care to care about others and extend compassion toward those who are hurting or struggling.

At the same time, I also believe in the importance of order, justice, and systems that work. That doesn’t make me cold-hearted. It means I care about both compassion and structure, and I don’t believe we have to choose one or the other.

That’s the tension many of us feel: How do we love our neighbor and respect our nation’s laws? That’s a holy tension, not a political problem.

Understanding Austin’s Heartbeat

Austin, where I’ve planted roots, is a city of contrasts. It’s progressive, but still deeply Texan. It values independence, but also community. It welcomes everyone, while being a fairly divided city ethnically and economically.

Here’s where I find common ground:

  • Austin values about justice — and, as a follower of Jesus, so do I.
  • Austin values diversity — and, as a follower of Jesus, so does the kingdom of God.
  • Austin believes in local action over national gridlock — and the Church has always been a grassroots movement.

But there are also tensions:

  • Austin often resists institutional voices, and as a pastor, I get lumped into that category.
  • The city prefers nuance over certainty, and my biblical convictions can sound too rigid if I’m not careful with tone.
  • Some reject the idea of borders altogether, while I believe in the value of lawfully ordered immigration.

Knowing these dynamics helps me approach conversations with humility, not just truth.

How to Talk About Immigration Without Starting a Fire

Here are a few ways I’ve learned to engage the conversation, especially with neighbors, coworkers, or congregants:

  • Ask better questions:
    “What’s your family’s immigration story?” “What challenges does Austin experience because of immigration?” “How do you think a city like Austin benefits from immigration?” “What would a just system look like to you?”
  • Name the tension:
    “I feel caught between the heartbreak of broken systems and the need for secure borders. But I want to be someone who listens more than lectures.”
  • Focus on people, not politics:
    We can disagree on policy and still agree that every person deserves dignity.

The Church’s Role in a Time of Division

The early church was full of immigrants, refugees, outcasts, and people who didn’t “belong.” Paul says in Ephesians 2:19, “You are no longer strangers and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of His household.” That’s the kind of community we’re called to build.

The gospel doesn’t erase borders, but it does erase hostility.

What would happen if we, regardless of political leanings, followers of Jesus became known for welcoming the outsider, respecting rules and laws, advocating for justice, and treating every person as someone Jesus died for? Sure, it’s a lofty goal but that’s the opportunity for the local church in this conversation today.

A Path Forward

Let’s not settle for the shouting match. Let’s become porch people, not just protesting people. Let’s build conversations and learn from one another. Let’s lean into conversations instead of avoiding topics. And let’s trust that the God who watches over nations also sees every individual soul.

If you’d like to explore ways to serve immigrants in Austin, we have a group of people from the Ukraine who meet regularly in our building and a church from Nepal who gather in worship on Sunday afternoon’s. These are great people and great ways to get a front row view into their experience.

Navigating Anxious Thoughts After the Hill Country Floods – What Families Need to Know

Our family has lived in the hill country for over 20-years.  We’ve seen summers without any rain.  Specifically, in 2011 the days were so hot and dry the city council of Austin issued a mandate for the city to pray for rain!  

You can imagine our surprise in 2025 when it rained so much that rivers flooded, dams broke, and we experienced some of the greatest pain in the Hill Country that we have experienced in decades.  

In those early morning hours, the Hill Country community was hit with devastating floods that disrupted homes, schools, and everyday life. In moments like these, families face not just the physical aftermath, but also the emotional ripple effects that follow, especially for our children. 

You can also imagine the anxious thoughts everyone is experiencing right now.  How does someone move forward after experiencing so much tragedy?  How does a family decide to send their child to a summer camp again after something so tragic?  How does a person not get these rushed feelings of panic every time it rains?  How do we not just stay busy to stay distracted?

I had the opportunity to sit down with my wife, a Licensed Professional Counselor, who serves students and their families in the Hill Country area, and she has had a front row experience with these questions and here are a few things she recommended:

Acknowledge the Impact

First and foremost, let people know they are seen. This has been a traumatic, overwhelming time for many. If your family is hurting, displaced, or unsure of what comes next, please know you are not alone, and your feeling is valid.

Emotional Reactions Are Normal

Children may not have the words to describe what they’re feeling, but they’re processing the loss and fear in their own way.  Unfortunately, most children in the Hill Country have been affected by these floods or know someone who was affected.  

Some children may act out, others may withdraw. Some may suddenly cling to you, have nightmares, or feel anxious about the weather. These responses are not signs of something “wrong.” They’re signs of something real.

As parents and caregivers, your calm presence and listening ear matter more than perfect answers. Simply acknowledging your child’s feelings, “That was really scary, wasn’t it?,”can help them feel safe and understood.

Rebuild Routine Where You Can

One of the best things you can do for your child in this season is to restore rhythm where possible. Whether it’s consistent mealtimes, bedtime routines, or walking them to school, familiar patterns offer emotional stability when the world feels uncertain.

When I was speaking to a family about one of their children possibly going to summer camp this year I validated those feelings.  Summer camp is a wonderful opportunity for children.  Then, I encouraged the parents to simply ask their children, “Do they want to go to summer camp?”  Different children are going to respond to this tragedy in different ways.  

Talk Honestly—but Gently

Kids don’t need every detail, but they do need honest reassurance. Let them know the adults around them are working hard to keep them safe. Use age-appropriate language to answer their questions and remind them that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared.

Watch for Ongoing Signs of Stress

In the weeks ahead, watch for ongoing signs of trauma: trouble sleeping, appetite changes, withdrawal from friends, or constant worrying. These may be signs your child needs more support—and that’s okay. There is help, and healing is possible.

Remember, life is loud, and when life is really loud, sometimes we can forget some of the true promises that we have held onto for so long.  Stress makes us forget and question, we aren’t thinking clearly in times of stress.  We can forget God’s truth.  We can forget God’s character.  We can forget God’s promises.  We can start to lose sight of who we are also!  

And sometimes, when we go through all that forgetting we can latch on to stories and ideas that aren’t true.  Things like:

  • “You need to figure this out!”
  • “God doesn’t care.”
  • “Everyone else has it easy.”
  • “People are going to think we are weak or stupid.”

It’s in our moments of stress and anxiety that we need to identify practical ways to help us remember the truth!  Things like:

  • Memorizing Scripture.
  • Writing out our prayers and asking, “Are our prayers consistent with God’s Word?”
  • Sharing our thoughts with others, and inviting them to tell us when our words aren’t consistent with God’s Word.
  • Listening to worship music filled with the truth of God’s Word.

You’re Not Alone—Resources Are Available

If your family needs help with housing, food, school supplies, or emotional care, please don’t hesitate to seek our support from your school or local church.  

And if you, as a parent, are feeling overwhelmed, please know your mental health matters too. You don’t have to be strong alone.  It’s in these moments that our thoughts and emotions can be fueled by lies.  Lies about ourselves.  Lies about God.  Lies about our future.  Sometimes we will even recognize those lies, and still our mind can become hijacked by those thoughts that just aren’t true.    


If your group, school, church, or organization would benefit from a conversation about helping kids process trauma, rebuild resilience, or simply navigate hard times as a family, Holly would be honored to speak to them. Whether it’s a small group of parents or a community-wide event, she’s available to share tools, stories, and hope.  Reach out to me and I will get you in touch with her!  

Why You Feel God is Distant: Lessons from Daniel’s Prayer

There are times in life when we are crying out to the Lord and we feel like He doesn’t hear us.  Sometimes the Lord “feels” distant because He is stretching and deepening our faith to trust Him.  Sometimes there are supernatural things at work that we don’t see like in the book of Daniel. Consider Daniel 10:12:

12 Then he said to me, “Do not be afraid, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to your words. 

In the context of Daniel 10 we see Daniel has been given visions from the Lord about hardship and difficulty that was coming for Israel.  In response, we see Daniel turn to fasting and lamenting through prayer as he imagines how difficult this is going to be for him and his people.

But, while Daniel is praying the Lord speaks to Daniel through a vision of an angel and the angels says to Daniel, “Do not be afraid.”  This isn’t a rebuke for Daniel about being afraid.  This is an encouragement from the Lord so as to say, “Daniel, you don’t have to be afraid.”  This is the Lord lifting Daniel’s eyes to look to Him and trust in Him.  

In addition, the angel says to Daniel, “From the first day that you set your heart and humbled yourself before God, your words were heard?”  Take that in for a second.  When you read the rest of the passage on your own you will see Daniel has been praying for 21-days, so that in those 21-days of prayer Daniel must have had moments where he was thinking, “Lord, are you listening?”  Lord, do you care?  Lord, can you hear me?  And in verse 12 the Lord reminds Daniel, “From the first day you started praying, I heard you.”  Isn’t that good?  Look at the next verse:

13 But the prince of the kingdom of Persia was standing in my way for twenty-one days; then behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left there with the kings of Persia.

I want to go slow here, because this might be new for some of us, but verse 13 is teaching us the reason for the delay is demonic activity.  Do you see it in verse 13?  The Lord heard Daniel’s prayers on the first day (vs. 12) but He was delayed because “the prince of the kingdom of Persia was standing in my way for 21-days.”  That’s demons!

In verse 13, Gabriel the angel says, “Those demons were giving me some trouble until Michael, the arc angel, comes to help him.”  Isn’t that wild to think about?  There are a couple things to consider when we think about angels and demons.  

First, the angelic / demonic realm can be very exciting for some of us today because of movies and television shows but we must remember that angels are simply messengers.  

Angels are powerful.  Angels are beautiful in appearance, but God’s Word actually teaches us that angels are in awe of humanity as the gospel works in humanity and through humanity, so let us not get too distracted by angels.  

It is the same with the demonic.  People will ask, “How do we know there isn’t a demon behind every rock?”  There is!  There is a spiritual realm all around us, so that everywhere we go there is spiritual activity at work.  

In Christ, we don’t need to be afraid of demons, but we do need to be aware.  In Christ, we can’t be possessed, but we can be oppressed / discouraged / distracted by demonic activity, so we don’t need to be afraid, but God’s Word is pulling back the curtain of the heavens so that we see there is spiritual activity at work in our marriages, parenting, church, thoughts, and world at every level at all times.

So the next time the Lord doesn’t answer our prayers the way that we want or as fast as we want it’s possible it’s because there is a spiritual war taking place in our lives, so that we can trust the possible delay isn’t because He didn’t hear or doesn’t care, because we know from Daniel 10 He hears every word of every prayer.  

Praying for the Presidential Election

The presidential election is a pivotal event that shapes the future of a nation. As earthly citizens, we have a responsibility to participate in the election. For those who are followers of Jesus, prayer is an essential part of the election process, offering a way to seek guidance, express concerns, and pray for the well-being of the country. But how do we pray thoughtfully and effectively during a presidential election? Here are key ways to approach prayer during this significant time.

1 Timothy 2:1-3, “First of all, then, I urge that requests, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made in behalf of all people, 2 for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. 3 This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior.”

1. Pray for Wisdom

The first step in praying for an election is to seek wisdom—not just for yourself, but for all voters and leaders. It’s easy to get swept up in the emotions, partisanship, and media blitz of campaigns, but prayer can help center your mind and heart. Ask God for clarity in understanding the issues, candidates, and their platforms.

2. Pray for the Candidates

Whether you support a specific candidate or not, praying for all presidential candidates is a way to show humility and compassion toward others. Remember, candidates face intense scrutiny, pressure, and temptation. They need strength, moral stability, and guidance in their decision-making.  Especially pray for the candidates to know Jesus and follow Him!

3. Pray for Unity

Elections, especially presidential ones, can be divisive. Families, friends, and churches sometimes find themselves at odds over political issues. As a follower of Jesus, we want to pray for unity. More than the next president, our country needs godly men and women who know Jesus and are following Him!  Jesus is the only One who can bring true and lasting unity.

4. Pray for the Leaders Already in Office

While much attention is on the new candidates, it’s important not to forget the leaders who are currently serving and those who will continue to lead regardless of the election outcome. 

5. Pray for Fairness in the Electoral Process

The integrity of the electoral process is critical for democracy. Unfortunately, there are concerns about fairness, fraud, or disenfranchisement. Prayer for justice, transparency, and fairness is vital in ensuring a smooth and just election.

6. Pray for Personal Peace and Trust in God

Amidst the tension, it’s easy to feel anxious or overwhelmed about the future of the country. Prayer can help you find personal peace, trusting that God is sovereign and in control, no matter what happens in the election.

7. Pray with an Open Heart

One of the most important aspects of prayer is humility. When praying for the election, be open to the possibility that God’s will may differ from your own preferences or expectations. Ask God to reveal His wisdom, and be ready to follow where He leads.

Conclusion: A Call for Prayerful Action!

As the presidential election approaches, prayer can play a central role in calming fears, promoting unity, and seeking God’s guidance. It reminds us that, while we have the privilege and duty to participate in democracy, the ultimate authority rests with God.

By praying for wisdom, justice, unity, and the well-being of all involved, we take a step toward creating a more peaceful, fair, and compassionate society—one where love and justice guide the way, regardless of political differences. As you pray, remember that your voice is not just heard in the voting booth, but also in the quiet moments of reflection with God.

Living Out Our Faith in Jesus with Others

Sometimes we hear people say phrases like, “It’s just me and Jesus.”  Or we might hear people say, “I don’t like going to church, I just do my own thing.”  It makes sense.  People are messy.  Sometimes I refer to people as “porcupines.”  If you get close enough to people we are going to eventually “stick” one another.

But by avoiding people and avoiding the risk of getting “stuck” we are also missing out on some great moments; depth of life, depth with the Lord.  One of the ways we can nurture our relationship with others is to get others involved in our relationship with Jesus.  

When we read Scripture we don’t see many examples of “Jesus and me” as people grow in the Lord.  We see a lot of life-on-life with a variety of different people as people grow in the Lord.  In the first century, that pace of life might have been more natural but what does that look like today?

Here are six examples:

  1. Prayer walks:  Gather a few friends to go on a walk in prayer.  This can be done as a group.  This can be done on individual walks.  This can be through praying out loud or this could be done in silence.  At the end of the walk, the group can share what they heard from the Lord during the walk.  
  2. Scheduled moments of silence:  Similar as above.  Gather a few friends.  Pick a place and time.  Share with one another afterwards.  
  3. Reading Scripture:  Similar as above.  Gather a few friends.  Read a passage.  Discuss afterwards as a group.  
  4. Serving others:  Starting to see a pattern?  Pick a spot. Gather a few friends. Serve other people.  Discuss afterwards as a group. 
  5. Fasting:  Yep, you got it!  Gather a few friends.  Pick a time and type of fast.  Pick a place to eat afterwards to break the fast and discuss.  
  6. Evangelism:  When’s the last time you shared the gospel?  What if you got a few friends to meet at the park or a pub and prayerfully asked the Lord to help you meet someone new so that you could simply let them know you are followers of Jesus?  Who knows where the conversation might go!  Oh yeah, you’re definitely going to want to discuss afterwards.  

We do these types of things when we play on a team or meet as a group to read a book. Why not apply those same patterns with our faith in Jesus?  If you find it difficult to grow in your faith in Jesus by yourself, then invite others to grow with you.  

If you aren’t sure where to start, you can always make a post on Realm as a starter to see if anyone is interested.  

Friends or Family?

Recently I was talking with someone and they said, “My friends are my family.”  Doesn’t that sound nice?  On the surface it makes sense.  Our friends are the people we see more frequently.  Our friends are probably the people we are more likely to ask for help.  Our friends don’t have a history of awkward experiences from the high’s and low’s of life, so it makes sense why we would drift toward friends as family.  

God’s Word teaches us when we come to faith in Christ we become family in the best possible sense.  Our friends are often people who look like us, think like us, laugh when we laugh, cry when we cry, so many times we are attracted to friendship with other people because they are mirroring our interests and our qualities.  

But the church is made up of people who are different from us.  It’s what makes the local church beautiful.  The church is made up of men and women, young and old, rich and poor, educated and uneducated, and not always but sometimes we will also find different ethnicities and different cultures.  What a gift we have in the local church!

Check out how Luke describes this family-like support in the newly established church in Jerusalem:

All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. – Acts 2:44-46

Remember, “all the believers” in this context consisted of more than 3000 people.  They weren’t all living in one house or sharing a single bank account. But they clearly did their best to remove the barriers that divided them into individual household units. They were generous with their money, their possessions, their space, and their time. And they were in and out of each other’s homes and lives.

Can you imagine what that would look like today? Being involved in our friend’s lives is probably something that happens naturally.  We probably work in similar fields as our friends.  We probably have similar interests as our friends.  But God’s Word calls us to invest in our church family who have different interests and different backgrounds, so that we might be strengthened in our faith in Him.  Here are some simple ways this could take place:

  • Look to meet 2-3 people on a Sunday morning.
  • Write down their name to help you remember.
  • Ask someone about their weekend.
  • Prayerfully consider how you might encourage someone in a meaningful way.
  • Pray for someone on Sunday morning.  
  • Ask someone out to share a meal. 
  • Invite someone to your group.  
  • Exchange contact information with someone.
  • Meet someone new during the “meet and greet.”

Living like this is counter-cultural, so the first step is probably going to be getting out of our own way. After all, many of us might not even relate to our biological family or friends this way. At times, it will feel hard, inconvenient, and uncomfortable. You’ll open yourself up to rejection, you’ll get hurt, you’ll need to ask for forgiveness. All of these are signs that you’re doing it right. And, through the transition, you’ll also find life, love, security, and freedom to be your authentic self. 

What Does It Mean To Be A Godly Man?

A question I am often asked by other men is, “What does it mean to be a godly man?”  Is it just about reading and knowing the Bible?  Is it just about character?  Is it just about being able to provide godly counsel?  Here is a quick outline:

  1. Fully convinced God exists.  You are convinced the God of Scripture created humanity in His own image (Genesis 1.) A part of being made in His image is that we reflect His glory, therefore, a person couldn’t possibly become a godly man without being fully convinced in God.
  2. Sin is destructive.  In Genesis 3 we see sin enter into the story of humanity so that everything and everyone we see today is fractured in sin.  Do you believe this?  Are you convinced of this truth at the global and personal level?  You must!
  3. Complete hope in life, death and resurrection of Jesus.  Jesus is God in the flesh.  Jesus has come to take our sin at the cross.  Jesus has come to conquer death through the resurrection.  Are you captivated by this truth?  Are you in awe of this truth? (1 Corinthians 15)
  4. Love for God’s Word.  Do you love the Bible?  Do you love reading the Bible?  Do you love talking about the Bible?  How could we become godly men if we don’t love God’s Word?  (2 Timothy 2)
  5. Obeying God’s Word through faith in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.  This is key!  God’s Word isn’t about following rules.  Godliness isn’t trying really hard to look like God.  Godliness is walking by faith in Christ every day until we are face to face with Jesus. (Romans 1)
  6. Convinced of stewardship.  None of this world is ours.  It all belongs to God, therefore, in Christ, we are all managers or stewards of resources, talents, and gifts from the Lord.  The sooner a man sees himself as a steward instead of an owner, the sooner he will grow in godliness. (1 Peter 4)
  7. Taking responsibility.  We are going to fail as men.  Failure is going to happen spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally; therefore, when those moments come into our life we would do well to stop making excuses and embrace responsibility.  (Proverbs 28:13)
  8. Repentance.  Repentance means to acknowledge our sin and turn from our sin as we trust in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection.  God’s Word teaches us it is the kindness of the Lord that leads to repentance.  Repenting of sin daily is a mark of a godly man.  (1 John 1:9)
  9. Teachability.  Are you able to learn from others?  Are you so convinced of your wisdom that it is hard to consider others might have something better?  Are you curious about life?  Are you curious about others?  Is there humility about you so that you are convinced that God’s glory shapes how you see yourself in Him? (1 Peter 5:5)
  10. Servant-Leadership.  Do you enjoy putting others before yourself?  Do you enjoy dying to your flesh?  Do you enjoy perseverance?  These are all marks of godliness.  Waiting to be asked.  Waiting for the applause of men.  Waiting for someone else to take responsibility.  These are marks of spiritual immaturity.  (Matthew 20:26)
  11. Live Courageously.  Take risks by faith in Jesus.  Put yourself in a place that is spiritually uncomfortable.  If the Lord brings an opportunity, take it!  Open the Bible.  Pray out loud.  Volunteer to help.  Give money away.  Initiate that conversation with that person that you have been thinking about.  Godly men walk by faith in the Lord instead of themselves.  (Joshua 1:9)
  12. Biblical view towards money.  Money isn’t evil.  Money is a gift to be used for His glory, therefore, learn to steward money.  Learn to give money away.  Learn to bless others.  Learn to make as much money as you can but know that a large salary is going to take their pound of flesh.  Rarely will a man get a large salary and freedom.  
  13. Friends with other men.  Lone rangers are going to have a hard time building godly lives and godly character.  There’s no way any one man could see all his blind-spots.  He needs other men to help him grow.  He needs friends that will have honest conversations with him.  (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
  14. Perseverance.  Life is hard.  Following Jesus is hard.  Living faithfully is hard.  You’re going to want to quit.  You’re going to want to give up.  Godly men stay faithful.  Godly men keep trusting the Lord.  (James 1:12)

The fact you have taken the time to read this article is a sign of the Holy Spirit at work in your life.  Praise God!  You want to grow and mature in Christ.  Praise God!  God’s Word calls us to be rooted and established in our faith in Jesus.  Start today!  

A godly man can change the direction of friendship, change the direction of his family, change the direction of generations to come, therefore, don’t wait but seek the Lord.  Start growing in Him today!

Practical Steps with Grief

Over the last few years I have received a lesson in grief that I wasn’t looking to learn.  My mother passed away in 2021.  My brother passed away in 2022, and just recently my father-in-law passed away suddenly.  

When my mother and brother passed away so close to one another I reached out to a class called Grief Share.  Grief Share is located in most cities and a great resource to help people learn about grief and acknowledge grief practically.  

There are 7 primary lessons I learned through Grief Share:

  1. I learned about grief. Grief is the emotional reaction of sorrow.  Sometimes grief can be brought on by loss of a loved one, physical or emotional pain or a type of suffering we might experience in life.  It’s possible in our culture in the United States we are so uncomfortable with grief that we might only think of grief in the “most horrible” situations.  But it would be better to see grief on a spectrum. There are different levels of grief.  There are different levels of intensity as we go through seasons of grief. 
  2. Death isn’t a normal part of life. People will say things like this when you experience loss.  However, the Bible teaches us that God created us to experience eternal life.  Death in fact, is the result of our sin, therefore, grieving, sorrow, sadness and mourning are all appropriate ways to respond to death. 
  3. God grieves. Again, God created the world to be perfect, therefore, any death we see in the world is grieving to the Lord.  So much so He took on flesh to take the ultimate death upon Himself, so that we don’t have to grieve for eternity. 
  4. We can grieve intentionally or accidentally.  Grief is going to come out of our soul at some point.  We can ignore, suppress, avoid, escape but at some point grief will come to the surface, therefore, don’t shy away from grief.  Even scheduling moments in your day or week to acknowledge the pain of death and the hope we have in Jesus can be helpful. 
  5. Don’t try to go through grief alone. You don’t have to open your heart and mind to everyone but it is good to have a few trusted friends who will weep with you in grief.  We need godly friends who will acknowledge our pain and remind us of the hope we have in Jesus. 
  6. You can get trapped in grief. Grief is alluring.  There is something attractive about giving ourselves over to sadness, therefore, we want to always invite Jesus into our grief.  Jesus cares about our grief.  Jesus is familiar with grief and sorrow. Jesus has overcome grief, therefore, we want to grieve with Jesus. 
  7. Learn from your loss. Going through the loss of a friend or family member is difficult, but there are valuable lessons.  Have you prepared necessary legal documents? The investment in a notarized will is essential.  Have you communicated to your spouse about financial details?  Have you had important conversations?  Every day matters.  Going through grief can help us appreciate every day and make the most of those opportunities.  

Most of all, I have found rekindling our relationship with the Lord in the midst of grief can be the most difficult.  When we experience emotional pain or loss it often touches us in the deepest part of our soul, which is many times set apart only for the Lord.  

Before grief there is this deep part of our soul where only the Lord had ventured but in grief there is a pain that breaks into our soul, so that we might find it difficult to distinguish between grief and the Lord.

It’s okay.  We don’t have to rush back to that place but we do want to build a process of restoring those parts of our faith.  It may take time, but if we take intentional steps, we can definitely get there.